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Topic: The older I get the harder it gets ! (Read 558 times) |
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Elaine
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The older I get the harder it gets !
« on: May 30th, 2003, 9:47pm » |
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I am back in cycle. I am happy I got time off and very thankful for that time. I been getting hit perrty hard since the week end. I knew they were coming back by the shadows. Hell I was using imitrex on shadows to keep them away.
Last night was bad. Its harder at night now cause I got the baby. I am always afraid I will wake him up. He is a light sleeper for a two year old.
I wake up with this pain that makes me almost scream out loud with. I stumble to the bathroom take a shot, and rock on the floor till the pain stops. Last night the pain was so bad, it seemed like it took forever for it to work. I sat there and rocked and prayed. I begged God to let my body take this pain. I was so tired I wanted so bad to lay down, I couldn't stop rocking. I just rocked till the pain stoped and then as always I was afraid to move. I just sat there to tired to get up.
I use to be use to the pain, and I am not sure if the vacation helped me or not. Not hurtting all these months has made it worst for me now.
I don't want this any more and I am not so sure my body will be able to handle it again. Last night I though God just let me pass out Please!
I have a little dog that when you cry she crys to and she won't stop till you do. I feel so sorry for the dog! Poor thing has no idea what he is in for the next few months.
I am to damn old for this shit guys!
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eyes_afire
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #1 on: May 30th, 2003, 9:54pm » |
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I'm really sorry that you're back in cycle. It's always hardest when a cycle returns. I just hope that your cycles get shorter and then disappear, never to return again. We're here for you, we understand.
--- Steve, one of many...
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jonny
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #2 on: May 30th, 2003, 9:55pm » |
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You STFU and make it to the convention........you owe me a walk, Elaine!!!
Nite, 3 am comes way to early
.......................jonny
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Jackie
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #3 on: May 30th, 2003, 10:04pm » |
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Hi E.....
I just read your post to Blake. The look on his face was like OMG I know exactly what she is saying. He wanted me to post to you and tell you to hang in there and he promises it will get better....he's says tell you to pull all the strength you can from the pain free times to fight the son of a bitch. He's gonna send you a "present" to make you feel better....  ....like the one he had me bring to you when we went to Florida.
I feel soooo sorry, E.....I would give anything to make this all go away.
Love you my friend,
Jackie
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| « Last Edit: May 30th, 2003, 10:05pm by Jackie » |
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Mastifflvr28
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #4 on: May 30th, 2003, 10:18pm » |
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oh sigh...
this is all I can say 
The "coming back into cycle" is the worst fear and stress in the world. Almos worse then the actual cycle.
Know I got vibes going out to you sweety, you DESERVE more pf time!!!
Love ya babe,
Mast
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Mastifflvr28 (aka Michelle A.)
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kim
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #5 on: May 30th, 2003, 10:27pm » |
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Why is it that we must always feel such GUILT........we cannot control the flip of the switch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Animals show their devotion ........mine did that too. They were big rotts and would try and lay across me ..........or at my feet - had to be close to me......funny how they know.........
Well wishes
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Virginia
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #6 on: May 30th, 2003, 10:48pm » |
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Elaine,
I'm so sorry that you are going through this shit right now. I feel your pain. A post like yours just brings me to tears because I totally know what you are going through.
I know that even after 18 years of going through this, when I get hit as bad as I did a few weeks ago I still think to myself "this can't be happening. this is not real. this cannot be my life. this is no way to live a life." and I still am convinced "nobody else could possibly be going through this same thing...because this feels like I should be dying". It's just unbelievable that we can have these for so long and yet sometimes they feel like it is the first time all over again and we are completely helpless all over again. 
Elaine, I wish I had something to say to make you feel better but please know that you are in my prayers tonight. For me, last time I just found myself chanting over and over again "it will end, it will end, it will end"....
I hope tonight is better.
Love to you,
Virginia 
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don
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #7 on: May 30th, 2003, 11:06pm » |
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It sucks but you know what you need to do to get through a cycle. Keep doing it at it WILL end.
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kissmyglass
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #8 on: May 30th, 2003, 11:09pm » |
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Hi Ealine,
So sorry to hear you are being attacked. Hope your cycle ends very soon. Wish I could do something to take some of your attacks.....Hang in there....The best vibes I can muster up are coming to you...
Kev
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katethecelt
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #9 on: May 30th, 2003, 11:19pm » |
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Elaine,
I'm so sorry you're back in a cycle. The pain, exhaution, fear, all become overwhelming very quickly. It all seems worse to me after even 1 PF day (my longest reprieve)since this cycle started.
"I am stronger than this" has become my mantra & I know it applies to you. We're here for you.
Sending special thoughts & prayers to you,
Kate
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Callico
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #10 on: May 31st, 2003, 12:48am » |
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Elaine,
We are praying for you. My wife just read your post too, so she will also keep you in prayer.
jc
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cootie
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #11 on: May 31st, 2003, 1:10am » |
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Be strong my freind...you have helped 'me' be stronger ! Pam that wishes you the strentgh to get thru this 
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TomM
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #12 on: May 31st, 2003, 5:14am » |
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Elaine, I am sorry you are getting hit again but happy to read you have a dog that is by your side. I am so glad to read that you are thankful for the time off.
Hang in there baby, you have freinds here!
Smile if you can.
TomM 
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Charlie
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #13 on: May 31st, 2003, 5:36am » |
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Rats, E.
All I can tell you is to try the technique again. The thing that's hard to get people to understand is that just because it isn't working right away, doesn't mean that it won't. If you give up in the middle of an attack, it will never work. This thing doesn't gradually take hold. When it does, it works instantly, just like when the pain seems to drain away when an attack ends. There is no half way. It always stops it cold.
Damn sorry Elaine but we're here for ya.
Charlie
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cbolony
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #14 on: May 31st, 2003, 6:04am » |
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Elaine sorry to hear the your cycle is back i hope it is a very short cycle.Sending good vibes to you and try to stop the cycle
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suzy617
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #15 on: May 31st, 2003, 6:27am » |
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Elaine I'm so sorry your getting hit again. Please hang in there and be strong. I'm hoping this doesnt last long and you will be pf very soon.
Suzy
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Elaine
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #16 on: May 31st, 2003, 6:45am » |
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Thanks Guys ! Oh I am going to be ok, just felt like moaning to someone . I hate the damn things, but I will get use to fighting them again, I have imitrex so I will be fine.I never stay down long, I got just to much to be Thankful for to stay down. I had nine months pain free from the suckers!! Praise The Lord!! .
I have a Great family that is standing beside me, you guys, and Imitrx !! Praise The Lord!!
I am making me a office in a walk in closet. I plan on doing it today. I was going to do it yesterday but lost my stud finder....I got another one last night so its work today. I will be looking for studs and working my butt off all day. Anyone want to volunteer to help?
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suzy617
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #17 on: May 31st, 2003, 7:45am » |
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Wow Elaine, I didnt know they sold a stud finder 
I've been looking for a stud for awhile now. ;D
Suzy
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catlind
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #18 on: May 31st, 2003, 8:48am » |
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Lady Elaine,
I am so very sad to hear this news I will keep my fingers and toes crossed in the hopes that it is just a fluke and won't be a full cycle! In the mean time you have my vibes going out to you!
Cat
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #19 on: May 31st, 2003, 9:25am » |
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Elaine,
Sorry the beast is back. Let's hope and pray it's a short visit. Vibes coming your way. My wife Barb is a stud finder! She found me over 20 years ago. ;D
Seeya,
Jimbo
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don
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #20 on: May 31st, 2003, 9:39am » |
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Quote:| lost my stud finder....I got another one last night so its work today. I will be looking for studs |
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You lost my email address?
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Roxy
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #21 on: May 31st, 2003, 9:44am » |
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Ah heck, E....I'm so sorry you're back in cycle. I've been sending vibes your way ever since Mast told me they were coming back on you. Wish I could take a few of the hits from you.......trying to handle this with small children around, that takes a lot of strength. I would imagine you and I were sitting on the bathroom floors rocking at about the same time of night......you aren't rocking alone. I doubt that will make you feel any better, but what small part of my brain that is working at that point.....it's thinking of you.
I know what you mean about being used to the pain. I've been having trouble with that ever since I had some PF time. You tend to build up a tolerance level when you are hammered 24/7.....some PF time, and I'm back grabbing the shot very, very quickly. I'm glad your dog sits with you.....that has to be a comfort.
You're not to old for this shit.....you are a tough, YOUNG, lady who can teach us new ones a thing or two.
Thinking of you,
Tracey
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ave
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #22 on: May 31st, 2003, 12:02pm » |
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Lady E, I am more than sorry that they are hitting you again. What can we do, so far away, but think of you real hard, wishing the pain away.
I don't think it is because of getting older. It is having had the reprieve. Not having to look over your shoulder to see if the beast lurks.
Then when it comes back it seems to hit so much harder.
I'll wrap an extra thought for you tonight and leave it in chat - with a bow on.
Hang in there Lady!
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Edna
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #23 on: May 31st, 2003, 12:05pm » |
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Elaine,
sorry to know you're getting hit......that totally sucks......."rock on" baby......we're rocking with ya here too so when you need us know we'll be there!!!
Hope the pf time in between becomes more and more for ya too.
pst...check your mail
Luv ya,
EDNA
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BobG
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Re: The older I get the harder it gets !
« Reply #24 on: May 31st, 2003, 12:46pm » |
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Hi Lady E. Sorry to hear they're starting again. Sure hope it's a mild and short cycle.
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