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Topic: Please Read! (Read 515 times) |
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fjb
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Please Read!
« on: May 3rd, 2003, 8:30pm » |
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Tonight it is a week since my husband, Jill's dad died. I wanted to thank every one for all the kind words, thoughts, and flowers.
I was incredibly lucky to spend alnost 27 years with Ralph, he was not just my husband, he was my best friend. He was the happiest person I know, always joking, laughing, and singing silly songs. Jill and I came first to him always. He was loved by many, many people.
We have the most wonderful family, we may not be related by blood but our ties are just as strong. We would not have made it this far without them. They took over and took care of us when I could not, and they are caring for us still.
Jill and I still have a long road in front of us, but with the help of friends on and off this board I think we'll be OK. I would also like to say Martin came into this home when we were at our lowest and instantly became family. What could have been a difficult situation for everyone became a real comfort to me, knowing Jill was cared for during the time I couldn't do it. Marty, I'm not going to say anything else as your ego will be too big to fit in the truck.
In three hours our lives changed so completely, so totally, and it will never be the same. I want to remind you to never miss the chance to do a kindness, or say I love you. Life is way too short. Barbara
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suzy617
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #1 on: May 3rd, 2003, 8:37pm » |
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Barbara so nice to see you posting. You have been in my thoughts so much lately and I pray you continue being strong.
suzy
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kim
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #2 on: May 3rd, 2003, 8:43pm » |
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barbara, thanks for sharing the celebration that will ALWAYS live inside your heart and give light - not dark - always. Peace.
When we separate from loved ones, it's hard. The thing is we never really separate. Only in the physical world. We are always together. It's not so sad when we know that.
Well wishes 
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fubar
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #3 on: May 3rd, 2003, 8:55pm » |
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I felt privileged to read this post. Thank You Barbera.
i love this place
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Ree
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #4 on: May 3rd, 2003, 9:09pm » |
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Thankyou Barbara for your words.. We are so truly sorry for your loss. No one is ever ready for something so quick and unexpected as what happened to your husband... We will keep an eye on Jill from this end. We are a great family here at CH.com. Again sorry for your loss. Ree (Ann Marie Theriault-Natick Mass)
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Marc
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #5 on: May 3rd, 2003, 9:15pm » |
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Barbara,
Thank you.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Marc
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Ann
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #6 on: May 3rd, 2003, 9:18pm » |
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Thank you for letting us know that you are all doing ok. It will get better as time goes by...but sometimes, time seems to drag on. Continue to be strong and lean on each other and on us.
God bless you
Ann
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Callico
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #7 on: May 3rd, 2003, 9:24pm » |
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Thank you for posting and sharing at a time when your loss is so great. You, Jill, and Marty have been in my prayers and will continue to be. God's peace to you.
Jerry
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #8 on: May 4th, 2003, 1:24am » |
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Barbara,
Several months ago when Jill was with you guys, I sent an IM to Ralph cause I saw he was on-line, I told him to please tell Jill I was thinking of her. He got back to me almost immediately with......and I quote...." Jill is finally sleeping. When she woke up, I told her of your good thoughts and she smiled and giggled"
Barbara, you had a good man there. I know he'l be missed by you and your family, but please know he's always with you. I'll even bet he's gonna be watching even closer over Jill and you now. If you don't mind I'm gonna light a candle in church for him tomorrow.
Linda Howell
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Wendy the Brit
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Barbara
We don't know each other and I am a long way away in miles, hopefully not in thoughts. I send my wishes and prayers to you, Jill and Marty and your wonderful family and friends for the time when you will be able to accept and deal with of this terrible loss to you.
Hope you soon feel able to talk about , think about, and remember Ralph and smile and laugh about the good times without too much agony. The time does come.
Thank you also for the reminder to seize precious moments with the people you love.
My best of wishes to you
Wendy the Brit
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #10 on: May 4th, 2003, 3:22am » |
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Barbara, thanks for sharing. While a person may leave this earth, the memories and love remain. Prayers are still coming your way.
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Jackie
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #11 on: May 4th, 2003, 5:46am » |
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Barbara,
Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. We are so sorry for your loss. Bless your heart.
Jackie & Blake
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| « Last Edit: May 4th, 2003, 5:49am by Jackie » |
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jonny
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Sorry, Barb 
.........................jonny
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SommelierCH
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #13 on: May 4th, 2003, 6:39am » |
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Dear, dear, Barbara,
What a joy it was seeing a post from you. Even during this, the saddest of times, you thought of us, and shared. Thank you. Remember, that The Family will always be here for you.
You wrote:
Quote:| never miss the chance to do a kindness, or say I love you. Life is way too short. Barbara |
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So... I want to say, I loves you.
And I loves Jill.
And…O.K…..I loves Marty. …But,…you know….in a football huddle, sharing a hummvee sort of way. ;D
All the healing energy that I can muster, continues to head your way,
David J.
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catlind
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #14 on: May 4th, 2003, 6:44am » |
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Barbara,
You have helped all of us. Of course we will be here to help you.
From one daddy's little girl to the Mom of another, you have another best friend. Her name is Jill, hold her tight and help each other through.
Peace and bright days ahead.
Cat
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The mad viking
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #15 on: May 4th, 2003, 6:58am » |
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Barbara&Jill
My deepest sympathy for you and your family for your loss. Be strong.
Barbara&Jill my friend`s,just remember that you did not LOOSE your husband/father.He is in your heart and will guard you all the time.
He is in a better place now and watching over you both
Peace,
Svenn
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2late
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #16 on: May 4th, 2003, 8:12am » |
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sorry for your loss Barb, thank you for the post. ............Jack
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Peppermint
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #17 on: May 4th, 2003, 9:03am » |
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Barbara,
My deepest sympathy to you, Jill and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Patty
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Hound_Dogg
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on May 3rd, 2003, 8:30pm, fjb wrote: I want to remind you to never miss the chance to do a kindness, or say I love you. Life is way too short. Barbara
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Truer words could never be spoken.
I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband and Jill's Dad's passing. The hurt never goes away, but it will get easier. I wish you all the strength you need to help and guide your family.
Jim
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cathy
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #19 on: May 4th, 2003, 9:17am » |
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Barbara ....thankyou for your post, our sympathies go to you and Jill, your in our thoughts.
Cathy & Wes
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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CathiP
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Barb-
Ralph & I talked, and I told him I planned to be at Jill's graduation one day......he invited me to stay with you....ummm, did you know I was coming? Well, it's still in the future......BUT, I felt his joy, his humor and his kindness in that conversation. All I can tell you is that, one day, the pain you are feeling will be somehow replaced by the warm memories of your time with him.
I am happy to know Jill will be, once again, close to you- oh, and, guess who's coming to dinner? I enjoy tormenting Marty, but the fact of the matter is, he has taken Jill under his wing, just like a daughter...he deserves the accolades he has received.
I hope you don't mind, Barb-I'll find a hotel room, don't worry, but I'm truly looking forward to a trip to the East Coast, to see Jill & Marty, and to meet Jill's wonderful Mom!
Take care, Barb.
Fondly, Cathi
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Roxy
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #21 on: May 4th, 2003, 11:05am » |
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Barbara, thank you for thinking of the people on the board at a time like this, and sharing with us. It sounds like Ralph was a wonderful husband and father. I know the loss has left a hole in your life, but you and Jill have each other to comfort and hold on to. Please know that we are thinking of you and hoping the pain will ease with time. Ralph will be watching closely over you and guiding you through this rough time.
My deepest sympathy,
Tracey
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Opus
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #22 on: May 4th, 2003, 11:59am » |
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Barbara,
I'm glad that God has provided help in your time of need. Keep remebering that He will be watching over You, Jill and Marty, and there is nothing to fear.
Opus
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Mikey
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #23 on: May 4th, 2003, 12:29pm » |
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Barbara, Jill,
I am so very sorry for your loss of Ralph. You have my utmost sympathy. It's always a little harder when it comes so unexpectedly. Just remember, you had the chance to share life with him and all the memories that came with it, and it will never leave you.
You are in my prayers now, and have been.
My condolences to the whole family.
Mikey,
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Jill
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Re: Please Read!
« Reply #24 on: May 4th, 2003, 1:54pm » |
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I, too, want to thank everyone for their good vibes, thoughts and prayers that have been sent our way. There are no words that can explain how much all of you mean to us - you are indeed family. There are a few thoughts that I would like to share with you on plans, how we are doing and such - and some on what can be learned. Hope that that is okay.
It seems that mom, I guess you can tell, is doing better and for that I am so grateful. I am having a very very hard time accepting that he is gone - my mind tells me that it is so but my heart wont let me believe it. And for right now, I wear this tie that he had - it was his favorite and it shows his personality. The tie has flying toilets on it with rolls of toilet paper, plungers and on some toilets there are people. It is a funny tie and makes people laugh - just as dad did. I wear it everyday because through it - as silly as it may sound - I can feel his personality and maybe one day, I will be able to take it off and put it aside. But I guess that that comes in time, when I accept that he is gone.
Last night, Marty and I flew back to California to pack our things because we are both moving to Maryland to live. And it may sound strange to some people but back home is right and Marty feels the same way, ready for that change. Some people may find it hard to believe that he is making this move and they may doubt somethings but that doesnt matter. We are driving cross country and we are going to enjoy it - taking lots of pictures and so forth. And then I will be back home with mom and our life will go on though it is going to be completely different but in time, we will adjust.
I have learned alot through all of this about life, about my father and about friends. You have to excuse how I may talk because I am very confused right now - part of me believes that he is gone and part of me believes that he is at home waiting for me to come home. I cant help it right now.
Life is so short and it is too short for fighting and bickering because in the end, most of it doesnt even matter. In the end, we are all friends and family and that is what matters. I feel like I took dad for granted, never told him enough how much I loved him and I regret that. But then again, life is too short for regrets and I am sure that he forgives me for anything and everything that I may have done, thought of doing and all. And I believe that he loved me and knew how much I loved him. I recall when, I think it was a member of Slammy's family died (correct me if I am wrong), everyone was told to turn to their mother or father or brother or sister or husband or wife or all of the above including children and just give them a hug. I would give anything for dad to be able to hug me with one of this bear hugs right now or to grab my hand with those large ones of his and just hold it because those moments are ones that we cant ever forget.
I never realized how important dad was to me and I wish I had told him more but I didnt and I guess that I cant change that now. I never realized how many people he impacted in such a good way but I am thankful that I am so much like him because he was a great man, a wonderful husband and the best father.
I came here just to thank you but I also wanted to share this with you because it is all important and it is a shame that we dont learn these lessons until someone so close to us dies. So from what I learned, go home today and be so appreciative of what you have because you never know when something will happen and life will forever change.
As for the future, things happen so fast and within minutes or hours your whole life can change - for good or for bad. Never take one minute, hour or day for granted. That is what I want you to remember from this post.
Jill
And, when you read this mom, I love you so very much and I cant wait to come home... 
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| « Last Edit: May 4th, 2003, 1:54pm by Jill » |
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"If you learn from your suffering and really come to understand the lesson you were taught you might be able to help someone else who is now in the phase. Maybe that is what its all about after all.."
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