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Topic: What pisses me off about this messageboard (Read 744 times) |
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Frank
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What pisses me off about this messageboard
« on: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:15pm » |
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I have been a member here for three years. Over, and over... I see "newbies" come to this site asking questions (which to some of us old-timers seem to be re-hashing the same stupid topics over and over)... and I see the same replies; so my rant:
Many times a "newbie" comes to the board, handgun to his/her head... desperately looking for support and information on cluster headaches (that's why he/she came here in the first place... I did). Figuring this place that he/she searched out on the Internet is... at long last, the support, help, and understanding that he/she has been searching for (sometimes for years).
Only to ask a "newbie question" about preventatives or abortives... and to be told to "check the archives"... or "click the buttons on the left side of the screen"; or worse to be flamed or made to be felt like an idiot for not having done his/her homework before asking such a stupid question.
I wonder... how many of the 3,910 people who have signed up for this board and have never posted, or only posted two or three or five times.... never to be heard from again... have actually blown their brains out because this was their last hope for support and understanding... only they didn't receive the support or understanding that they were looking for here? I bet there have been a few... fortunately DJ doesn't keep those statistics.
I know from my own "newbie" experience here, I didn't know about the buttons on the left, or that there was such a thing as an archives... or much less care. In my state of mind at the time, I was just looking for support. More time to explore the whole website later.
It is ironic that in the time it takes to write a post admonishing someone that they should have checked the archives first, or should have clicked the buttons on the left first... you could have simply answered a newbie's dumb question in less time. Or just not respond to their post at all.
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forgetfulnot
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #1 on: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:21pm » |
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Personaly I'm to damn lazy to search this site, too many bullshit hits.
Lee
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| « Last Edit: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:23pm by forgetful » |
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Callico
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #2 on: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:22pm » |
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You're dead on! That is the reason I didn't sign on or post for over a year. The first time I found the site a newbie got flamed and I didn't bother signing on. I was desperate enough to keep coming back and trying to learn, but it took me a while to get up the courage to post. I am grateful though to the ones who did answer my dumb questions the first couple of times I asked though. 
By and large most here are very supportive, so I think you are addressing only a handful, Frank. I don't want to tar with to broad of a brush.
jc
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Mark C
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #3 on: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:23pm » |
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Good Point Frank,
Since I don't know it all...yet I guess I will just have to keep researching the archives and anywhere else I can for information about CH......to pass along, like yall did ( and do ) me. Personally, I like posting links. I have been here long enough to have some idea where to find something that is relevant in the 125,000 + pages that make up this website. Not to even mention the OUCH site, how many pages does IT have! I believe if I give someone a place to start their natural curiosity will take over....I hope.
Copy and pasting,
Mark
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Frank
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #4 on: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:32pm » |
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on Apr 30th, 2003, 9:22pm, Callico_Kid wrote:You're dead on! That is the reason I didn't sign on or post for over a year. The first time I found the site a newbie got flamed and I didn't bother signing on. I was desperate enough to keep coming back and trying to learn, but it took me a while to get up the courage to post. I am grateful though to the ones who did answer my dumb questions the first couple of times I asked though.
By and large most here are very supportive, so I think you are addressing only a handful, Frank. I don't want to tar with to broad of a brush.
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You're right... By and large, everyone here is very supportive, and I am only addressing a few. Overall, I'd say THIS PLACE ROCKS! Unfortunately it is those few ... who cause newbies to post a few times and never come back.
Sometimes people continue to keep asking "dumb" questions, even when the answers are seemingly obvious (buttons on the left, and the check the archives)... but I think we ought to allow that person 20 posts to figure that out first.
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| « Last Edit: Apr 30th, 2003, 9:46pm by Frank » |
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Charlie
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #5 on: Apr 30th, 2003, 11:05pm » |
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Good one Frank. I'm widga.
I was lucky. I had fun right away but then I wasn't in pain and I looked around here for several weeks. Very glad I stuck around.
My thing is the migraine bashing. I understand letting people know we don't handle them here but why must we tear into them. They never stick around anyway. They usually leave after a few posts. Just my thing.
Sweetness and light.....Charlie
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Ted
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #6 on: May 1st, 2003, 12:30am » |
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And yet what saved my ass was what I could do for me. That I could feel productive in my own care. It's funny. I didn't need to be told to go look things up myself. For me my therapy WAS looking it up myself. And not just my therapy. My RESPONSIBLILITY. I take care of me. No one else has to, nor should. And if I get bad info it's from me misunderstanding. Not from someone who misread the articles and says I should use a rebreather mask. What the hell is so hard about looking things up yourself? I'll bet no one has shot themselves from being told to look something up. And if they did they would have whether we gave them an answer through our filters or not.
Yes, we can answer questions if we want to. Even those questions that were answered in 5 seperate threads within the same day. But we can tell people to be self reliant too, without being ogres. At least in some people's minds. 
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rumplestiltskin
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Would everbody please do it my way!
« Reply #7 on: May 1st, 2003, 12:42am » |
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I'd rather have someone lead someone to helpful links rather than say "hey fuckin new meat whadjya do climb in the cellar window? There's a big ass sign on the front door."
http://www.clusterheadaches.com/newvisitors.html
But that's just me...uh...and DJ's "welcome page"
Whenever the "Hello/Goodbye" club topic comes up, I ask myself....what can hurt worse than a Clusterheadache that would make me leave a site, for ANY reason, that could help?
....not all the black squiggle sticks and stones ever typed could ever come close to the pain of one full blown Cluster.
Emotionally beat me and make me write bad checks...
OK fine...I'd rather walk away from the possibility of managing my Cluster Pain than take this shit!!!!! Those folks are mean so I'll kill myself!
Sorry...no sale...
This ain't no goddamned sensitivity group.
I think some folks here are total dumba_sses. I think some folks here need to get a fucking life. I think some folks here are snakes in smiley faces.
...you got every right in the world to blast em. Bitch slap em with a fuckin oar......then continue rowin.
Gee I feel better.
Watcin the river flow.
den
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| « Last Edit: May 1st, 2003, 12:45am by rumplestiltskin » |
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Ted
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Re: Would everbody please do it my way!
« Reply #8 on: May 1st, 2003, 12:58am » |
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on May 1st, 2003, 12:42am, rumplestiltskin wrote:| I think some folks here are snakes in smiley faces. |
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I've been called out. I'm going to go kill myself.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #9 on: May 1st, 2003, 1:08am » |
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Sorry.....I'm still on "sweetness and light" from Charlie.
Edna?????? you hear that?
LindaH who is scratching her head at this one.
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Azrael
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #10 on: May 1st, 2003, 1:30am » |
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Check the archives and take the cluster quiz ya newbie! I'm sure you'll find the answer to your topic. 
PFDAN........................................ Drk^Angel
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Not4Hire
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #11 on: May 1st, 2003, 1:56am » |
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frank ...ya gotta *point*.... newbies(what-a-fucked-term) should be treated with respect, and care, and understanding, and given a chance to "get-up-to-speed" but:
(and this is taken WAY outta context)
Quote: Sorry...no sale...
This ain't no goddamned sensitivity group.
I think some folks here are total dumba_sses. I think some folks here need to get a fucking life. I think some folks here are snakes in smiley faces.
...you got every right in the world to blast em. Bitch slap em with a fuckin oar......then continue rowin.
Gee I feel better. |
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Quote:| And yet what saved my ass was what I could do for me. That I could feel productive in my own care. It's funny. I didn't need to be told to go look things up myself. For me my therapy WAS looking it up myself. |
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...more shit I wish I'd said......
...and yet it still comes down to a guy who took the first step.... and let's it.... flow...... no matter how ugly, or beautiful.........or trivial, or inspiring.... and he did it VERY intelligently.... he gave every one that finds this place a chance to shine....or to step on his/her dick.....
..*we* gotta *place*...... without it, hell... y'all wouldn't have hardly anything ta b*tch about......
....clusters ARE a MOFO........ but they NEVER ....not even once, killed anybody *physically*...... remember that when ya go to the cancer hospice, or the burn ward, or the ole folks home, or any ICU anywhere........
Quote:| It is ironic that in the time it takes to write a post admonishing someone that they should have checked the archives first, or should have clicked the buttons on the left first... you could have simply answered a newbie's dumb question in less time. Or just not respond to their post at all. |
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...and then, where would we be........?
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Wendy the Brit
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #12 on: May 1st, 2003, 3:24am » |
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Frank
To a very large degree I am with you on most of what you say. I have asked before on here for the experienced people to go easier on new ones. It still hurts to remember one of the old timers saying "Let's help her off the board" when I first arrived. It was intended to get rid of me because I had been a migraine sufferer, and had changed into clusters but hadn't yet been diagnosed by the docs. I needed help but got it mainly from the UK site as they were less antagonistic and more patient with me while I went through the process of seeing the GP and neuro etc. and was frightened and confused.
So that brings my second point. Where I don't agree with you is that I ALWAYS point a new person to the Quiz if they are in doubt what they are suffering from.
I takes a lot of confusing words and a lot of posts to do what the quiz does in 2 minutes. I found it such a huge relief to do it and find I wasn't mad and that it wasn't what the doctors were insisting it was (i.e. strange migraines)
Please do go easier on the new ones. I will keep asking as I was one not so long ago, and I know how it feels
Wendy
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Brian_Y
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #13 on: May 1st, 2003, 7:20am » |
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How interesting. And I am pleased to see so many folks agreeing. I have been here for some time (yes, with respites, but that was due in large part to the chaotic nature in which I do things...Sticking to one thing has never been my forte) and I have asked questions about certain treatments and been told by those I have heard aptly described as suffering from a "superiority complex" that I needed to go and look in the archives for something, blah blah blah. This being aimed at 1) someone who has been here and has some idea about the flavor of diverse personalities here and therefore less susceptible to having my feelings hurt--of which I have few, and 2) when I recently, tongue in cheek, offered an admission of "laziness" when inquiring about a specific treatment new to me, old to others.
It seems to me that the time one spends ballying back and forth about the efficacy of looking in the archives v. offering some degree of assistance might be indistinguishable. I would offer that if your solution is for a "newbie" or a "hall of famer" to look in the archives, your time might well be better spent offering nothing. It convolutes the process of what's trying to be achieved here in my estimation. Of course, I could just be lazy after all's said and done, but I suspect that to a new person suffering from CHs, it comes across as being an "Unwelcome Mat".
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Frank
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #14 on: May 1st, 2003, 8:26am » |
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on May 1st, 2003, 3:24am, Wendy the Brit wrote:-snip-
So that brings my second point. Where I don't agree with you is that I ALWAYS point a new person to the Quiz if they are in doubt what they are suffering from.
I takes a lot of confusing words and a lot of posts to do what the quiz does in 2 minutes. I found it such a huge relief to do it and find I wasn't mad and that it wasn't what the doctors were insisting it was (i.e. strange migraines)-snip- |
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That's not quite what I was talking about. I think pointing newbies toward the Cluster Quiz, or the Imitrex Tips, or O2 button (where is it?) suggesting that they click the links over on the left to learn as much as possible is great. So is referring someone to the OUCH doctor list or the OUCH library..that is helpful too. I encourage you and others to keep doing so.
The one liner posts that drip with sarcasm... "this has already been discussed here 50 times. If you had bothered to click the medications button over there on the left, you would have known that"... those are the ones I was ranting about.
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cootie
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #15 on: May 1st, 2003, 8:28am » |
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I think people by nature have a tendancy ta weed out the weak.....not sayin it is rite......jus how it seems ta be......it can make the weak stronger or a more aggressive fighter......sort of a pecking order deal.....it's everywhere.....learn what ta do and what not ta do....then 'the once weaker ones' seem to be the best at handle'n the newbie's and and almost protect em and help em out and set em in the rite direction (take them under there wing till they get stronger so ta speak) Everyone has a purpose and learns from mistakes and pain no matter what the level. Some become better teachers by it. I'm "not" sayin flamein is rite.....it does seem ta be a way of life that's all...I've seen it in everything everywhere trust me Pam....(hope I don't burn in CH ville for this one)
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Margi
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #16 on: May 1st, 2003, 8:35am » |
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Good for you for bringing this up, Frank. I think it's a very valid point. We do need to show more tolerance here of new arrivals and guide them, when we can.
However, Den and Ted have really good points too. There WILL be folks arriving here who want to do their own research - I'm on that side of the coin too. When we arrived here, I read everything I could lay my eyes on before I posted for the first time. But some people just aren't that way. Maybe they were the kids that hated going to the library in school, I dunno. We're a diverse group for sure. Nothing's going to work for everyone - I think it's our job as tour guides to let the newbie take the lead and GENTLY point them in the direction best suited to them.
Timely subject, Frank - thanks again.
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #17 on: May 1st, 2003, 9:32am » |
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Valid point, Frank.
I find that most clusterheads are not kind and gentle souls by nature  ....they have been suffering and fighting to survive..sometimes for years. That in itself tends to make one kinda ornery and short fused.....and that's a good thing because that's what it takes to fight the beast....you have to be tough to survive....and that's a fact.
I think the majority of the responses to the newbies are pretty good....at least I haven't seen a post saying,"fuck off...can't you read" ;D
Directing them to the "buttons on the left" isn't a bad thing...it's just kinda all in how ya say it.
Again...good point, Frank
Jacks 
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oringkid
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #18 on: May 1st, 2003, 9:35am » |
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Margi, glad you brought up about some not reading before plunging into the message board. When I had to redo my puter recently, I also had to refind all my favorite bookmarks....so I put "clusterheadaches" in my Google browser....the very first link is for the first page of this site...however the very second link takes the clicker straight to the message board. No intro page, no netiquette just right here.
I have a feeling that a lot of people see "message board and just click on the second link. Maybe DJ can have the meta tags for this page altered or even deleted so that the search engine does not list this page. (I noticed that it only lists the first page and the message board page, none of the others. At least not right there at the top of the search) That way all newbies would at least see that first page before they can even get into the site. Which in turn would probably motivate them to check out other areas of the site.
I agree with Margi in her agreeing with Frank and agreeing with Den and Ted etc. We need to try to be a little more tolerant and welcoming BUT, we should also refer newbies to the wealth of info on these sites. I think one of the BEST reasons to refer someone to the other parts is that once you click one and read, it's kinda like potato chips, you can't click just one! LOL
Sherry
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stevek
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #19 on: May 1st, 2003, 9:39am » |
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I remember when I first came to this site several years ago. I was desperate and looking for help. Finding out about medications and treatment was only part of what I needed. The first email from Margi meant so much to me. I finally connected with someone who understood this CH crap. I wasn’t sure how to connect with others on the board. I finally did in chat. To know others with CHs and share stories that are so similar is an incredible experience. Everyone I live with thinks I’m exaggerating this headache thing.
Once you have connected with other CHers and are past that “am I the only one?” and “I’m crazy stage” you don’t need that personal answer as much. Be kind to newbies and answer their questions. The info requested is only part of what is needed.
I had been around for a year when Jayne told me to up the amount of verp. I was taking. That has worked great for me (although I feel tired all the time). I had read the info on the site (which is much better now) but it was in a conversation that I finally decided to give verp another try. My doctor had not given me enough.
I haven’t posted much because I don’t keep up on the proper things to post and don’t want to deal with the crap. Also, I got in trouble at work. I usually email others when I feel I have something to offer.
I’ll shut up now and go back to reading and emailing. Although I do miss having Jonny direct a few Fuck offs in my direction.
Take care, SteveK
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CJohnson
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #20 on: May 1st, 2003, 11:17am » |
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While there is, perhaps, the greatest wealth of CH information in the world contained in the archives of this website, there is no substitute for harmonious discourse.
At the same time, there is no reason to feel hurt because of a snide remark on a message board. It seems to happen, though, and it makes sense to be considerate of that fact when dealing with people whose degree of sensitivity is unknown.
I personally could not care less if someone besmirched me on this board, however, I can respect the fact that there are people who would be devastated by it. Particularly in a place like this, where there is a chance that a person has been virtually isolated from social contact with others because of their CH.
Have you ever had a phamacist give you the "here for more drugs, dopehead?" look? Why shouldn't they? In many cases, the information they have suggests you are taking too many drugs. I have, and I wanted to grab him by the throat. But, hey, a pharmacy ain't no god-damned sensitivity group, is it.
-Curtis
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #21 on: May 1st, 2003, 12:40pm » |
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on May 1st, 2003, 9:39am, stevek wrote:
Although I do miss having Jonny direct a few Fuck offs in my direction.
Take care, SteveK
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Whereas, jonny seems to be busy making another brass staircase, I'll step in and help out my brother.
Hey Steven! Fuck off! ;D
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don
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[b][Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #22 on: May 1st, 2003, 2:01pm » |
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Maybe we need an on call "Cluster Quiz' homevisit team.
We can equip them with, snelled hooks, white hot railroad spikes, cattle prods, rusty bait knives and other various mid evil tools of torture. Send the team right to the "newbies" doorstep.
Does it feel likeTHIS? No! How about THIS? How about THIS, THAT and THIS !?
If they cant identify, and if they are still alive, we can simply tell them to have a nice day, give them some comlimentary bonji stones, and go tell them to go treat your fucking migraine elsewhere.
Simple.
If they do identify, give em a hug.
I can not be on this team. I dont do man hugs or group hugs. The other stuff sounds like fun though.
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| « Last Edit: May 1st, 2003, 2:14pm by don » |
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jonny
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #23 on: May 1st, 2003, 4:16pm » |
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WAH!!!!
;D ;D ;D
........................jonny
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| « Last Edit: May 1st, 2003, 4:17pm by jonny » |
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jonny
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Re: What pisses me off about this messageboard
« Reply #24 on: May 1st, 2003, 5:19pm » |
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on May 1st, 2003, 9:39am, stevek wrote:
Although I do miss having Jonny direct a few Fuck offs in my direction. |
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You forgot the smiley face, Steve.....but I forgive you ;D
FUCK OFF and ride big waves, Bro ;D
.............................jonny
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