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Topic: High Colonic (Read 781 times) |
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Miklos
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High Colonic
« on: Apr 28th, 2003, 8:12pm » |
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Writing from a southeast suburb of Iowa Park.
Now, the following is just speculation so please do not laugh because if you do, it would hurt my feelings. This is serious business!
Back in the 1970s when I was completing my MS in psychology and preparing to become licensed in the state of California (which I did), I ran across an article in physiological psychology about the fastest ways to get intoxicated. The second fastest way was to put grain alcohol in a perfume atomizer and inhale. Way bad because this technique introduced some really nasty carcinogens into your lungs (kind of like smoking nine or ten packs of cigarettes a day).
The fastest way to get intoxicated (practically instantaneous) was with an enema of grain alcohol (or maybe a quart of your favorite beverage). It works quickly due to the liquid absorbing properties of the lower bowel.
Recently someone (Georgia?) described the benefits of bleu cheese and apple cider vinegar. When I huff said vinegar straight from the bottle (Heinz Rules!), I can chase away shadows and some middle level headaches, but it does not work on eight and up.
Hypothesis: Do you think that introducing this marvelous Heinz product from the bottom instead of the top might ameliorate the high level headaches, assuming that I was capable of performing the procedure during a ten? And, if so, would the residual vinegar circulating in my system chase away the follow-on headaches? If it did work, it would certainly give new meaning to pucker power, and it certainly would be cheaper than Imitrex.
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| « Last Edit: Apr 28th, 2003, 8:14pm by Miklos » |
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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don
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You are very ill Miklos. Very, very ill.
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Not4Hire
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #2 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 8:23pm » |
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...tell us how it ...uh, goes...... and ALWAYS take the necessary, uh, precautions........
BOB!....add this one to the LIST........
..fire in the hole......CLEAR!
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Mantra: This will NOT kill me...This will not KILL me... This will not kill ME...
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forgetfulnot
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I always hoped their was a reason took psychology in school, now we know why. 
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Mark C
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #4 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 8:55pm » |
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Let me know how it goes, I used to sell plumbing and if it works we can make a $fortune.$ 
I missed out on vibratiting glasses and Boji Stones...I aint missing this one. ;D
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Miklos
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #5 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:02pm » |
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MarK C. Thank you for the compliment. Given other posts I have seen written by you, I would not have thought that you would waste that many words -and- an animation on my hypothesis. Gives new meaning to "suck it up" doesn't it?
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eyes_afire
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #6 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:04pm » |
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Hi there Miklos. Serious business indeed. My advice: Don't do it. Vinegar is extremely acidic (more than you realize). My bottle sez: 'diluted with water to a uniform pickling and table strength of 5% acidity'. That, my friends, is quite acidic to consume. Most of the human stomach acid, stays in the stomach. The large intestine is not designed to handle acidic substances. In my opinion, you run the risk of burning a hole in your large intestine, which in the long run may end up being more expensive than imitrex.
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cootie
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #7 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:17pm » |
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douche bag talk.......blahhhh.......not a sour puss Pam 
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Miklos
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #8 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:20pm » |
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eyes_afire
Please review dons' comment. And, welcome to the Tuna Club.
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Frank
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The butt was not made for anything to go up it.... only out.
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Miklos
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #10 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:39pm » |
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Frank
You have obviously not had the mandatory over-50 sigmoidoscopy or colonoscopy yet. And, I have to do it again three years from now.
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Mark C
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #11 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:39pm » |
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A long time ago I had to take a drug screen, cause I was drivin' a truck. I was not able to pass on my own, so the accepted methed would be to consume a "jar" of white vinegar.....which I did..  This would detoxicfy me in time for the test. All it did was pickle my innderds and made me burp funny for a couple of day....and I failed the test!.
Now...I go here.
I am gonna go take a nap now....
Goodnight,
Mark
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Frank
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on Apr 28th, 2003, 9:39pm, Miklos wrote:Frank
You have obviously not had the mandatory over-50 sigmoidoscopy or colonoscopy yet. And, I have to do it again three years from now. |
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Nope. They're never going to put one of those tubes up my butt! Im 46 years-old and have never had stitches or a cast... and not about to have one of them either. ;D
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Miklos
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #13 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:47pm » |
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Pam (whose notes I admire immensely 'cause they're funny as hell), did you spell one of the words below incorrectly?
not a sour puss
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cootie
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #14 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 9:55pm » |
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;D
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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don
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Let me clear something up, (now thats a choice phrase)
Quote:| You are very ill Miklos. Very, very ill. |
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This not neccesarily a bad thing.
Tuna club. I like that. Specially on white toast
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catlind
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #16 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 10:05pm » |
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Miklos,
I understand the seriousness with which you are addressing the question.
However, something tells me you were in the van too long with the cuban circus midgets! LOL (just can't let that on off easy)
Let us know if it works 
Cat
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eyes_afire
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #17 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 10:08pm » |
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Argh... Hook in mouth
I submit.
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Miklos
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #18 on: Apr 28th, 2003, 10:26pm » |
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Frank
I am going to push the edge here a bit. Colo-rectal cancer is one of the easiest cancer problems to ward off. But, -you- have to participate.
After age 50, you go get your butt reamed with a sigmoidoscopy. If they find no polyps, you are home free. Until one or two years later when you have to do it again. You will be awake during the procedure. It is uncomfortable, but not miserable. The prep is the shits and is worse than the procedure.
If the doctor finds polyps, then you have to have a colonoscopy. Fortunately, they knock you out for this one. The prep is even worse than the stuff for the sigmoidoscopy. Can you say "blow out?"
I fought having both procedures for years. I delayed and procrastinated. Dumb! Remove the polyps and there is no potential for cancer. Polyps can evolve into cancer which you could have avoided.
Pardon the evangelism from a butt-fucked colonoscopy patient. I did have polyps. No more though!
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Frank
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You're right... A good friend of mine died from colon cancer. She went though all of surgical treatments... bag hanging outside, chemo, and other treatments. It still killed her inside of three years. I'm 46, so I guess I have another 3-4 years to get myself psyched about the doctor giving me butt plugs.
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Charlie
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #20 on: Apr 29th, 2003, 12:05am » |
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Agree with the colon cancer.
As for the vinegar....sounds like:
Charlie 
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Ueli
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Acetic acid or vinegar is a simple chemical compound, produced since ancient times with the help of aerobic bacteria from ethanol (alcohol):
CH3CH2OH + O2 ----> CH3COOH + H2O
If you use vinegar to spice your salad it obviously depends on taste what sort you use, made from various sorts of wine, cider, or anything else containing alcohol.
But what surprises me is that for your special use you explicitly specify apple cider vinegar. Either the acetic acid does the trick, and then its source is not important; or some chemical from the cider is active, then we don't need the acetic acid.
Go back to your books!
Therefore, I agree with Charlie.
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Mark C
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #22 on: Apr 29th, 2003, 7:50am » |
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My Father died at 46 from coloncancer. At age 35 I started going every five years for the colonoscopy. Doc's tell me their almost certain it's genetic at that early of an age. The prep is bad, clear fluids for 24 hours prior and the most powerful laxitive known to man! Talk about cleansing! Demerol cocktail makes the actual procedure kinda nice ;D
We just happen to have the inventer of the Colonoscope, Dr Gene Overholt right here in Knoxville Tennessee. Another cool thing, my Doctor, Sarkis J. Chobanian, is the same Doctor who removed President Reagan's polyps! One good conservative to another!
Sitting tight,
Mark
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| « Last Edit: Apr 29th, 2003, 7:52am by Mark C » |
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Miklos
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #23 on: Apr 29th, 2003, 9:05am » |
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Charlie and Ueli,
Please go back and read don's first response in this session. Then, along with eyes_afire, you will discover that you have joined the small, but ever growing Tuna Club. I personally am a charter member.
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Roxy
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Re: High Colonic
« Reply #24 on: Apr 29th, 2003, 9:06am » |
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on Apr 28th, 2003, 8:12pm, Miklos wrote:| Writing from a southeast suburb of Iowa Park. |
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ROTFLMFAO
I'll be down in your little suburb tonight, staying for a week or so. Looking forward to trying out some of ya'lls little hometown restaurants.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Einstein)
I used to have a handle on life....but it broke.
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