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Topic: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some one (Read 251 times) |
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DaveHar
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An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some one
« on: Apr 27th, 2003, 1:25am » |
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Here I sit all alone,
waiting on the beast to come back home.
He comes when I feel my best
just to cause me pain and unrest.
He makes me want to end my life,
to say fuck it all and say good night.
I take these pills and suck some gas,
hoping that it will kick his ass.
Tonight is the night that it will all just end.
My life is over, this pain I will end.
I fear him more and more each day.
There is no more for me to say.
Then from the dark I hear a voice.
It’s my kids, my wife, and my friends of choice.
They yell to me fight but I have not the strength.
I have been pushed out to the end of my rope’s length.
They yell to me words of hope and yet I can not hear.
I am locked in this battle of pain and fear.
Loosing a part of me each time he is near.
They yell to me words of strength and hope.
They push me and lift me so that they can cut the rope.
My life will continue at least for today.
My support comes from this family and they want me to stay.
I have to fight and help others as they helped me.
I have to stay strong and not let the beast win over me.
Some have it worse being chronic and all.
They fight the fight on a daily basis and are winners one an all.
So fight I will and show my family I can.
Fight I will and I will be a stronger man.
I can do this with my family behind me.
I can do this; I will not let the beast control me.
I have my days that I just want to quit.
But I remember just why I go through this shit.
I continue to live this life of pain.
Because as part of a family we share it all the same.
Ending my life will ease my pain!
But the pain I leave behind will hurt me all the same.
So today I share another life with you.
Living day by day until our fight is through.
It will be a day soon that we will all be pain free.
It will be a day soon that I won’t think about swinging from that tree.
Dave Harlan
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Azrael
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Sometimes... Being good just ain't worth it.
   
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #1 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 1:29am » |
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Beautiful... Thank you for sharing.
PFDAN......................... Drk^Angel
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Callico
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #2 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 2:28am » |
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Dave,
I am so glad you decided to continue the fight. I'm also glad you expressed the pain so eloquently and were open about the urge to end it. To many have not been willing to let others know when they were struggling to that extent, and have left a great hole when they left us. Please remember, it will end! We are always here for you. If you need to talk I'm available. E-mail me and I'll give you my number and will be available anytime. Please don't use a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
jc
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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Mikey
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Rock till ya Drop and DON'T mess with the FAM!!!!!
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #3 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 6:42am » |
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A real beautiful thing you wrote Dave. I feel you right there man, been there many times and sure it will be many more. Then i think of my wife and kids especially my kids, where would they be without me? I would most likely be gone already if it weren't for them. I'm so glad i have them to keep me here, being chronic just dosen't give me any hope any more of getting better, not to mention we don't have a cure. Pulling the trigger on my 45 cal. would'nt hurt me as i would end the pain and suffering, but i would hurt my family more than i've ever hurt and i know that. So i'll remain and fight just as always and try for the happy moments in life, it's just like you're reaching for the brass ring on a Carousel just try to snatch a moment of happiness, and once in a while i do get to grab it.
Mikey, ;D
Always here for ya Bro! e-mail me, i'll give you my # and you can talk any time you feel like it!
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| « Last Edit: Apr 27th, 2003, 3:24pm by Mikey » |
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I love to ROCK very HARD!!!
CHRONIC and going crazy!! Want to come too?
Hope for PFDAN, peace and safety to you all!!
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cbolony
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #4 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 7:59am » |
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dave i don't read long post but yours i read.What a great job you did. 
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cathy
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #5 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 11:06am » |
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Dave great poem thanks for sharing.
Sometimes the truth hurts.... 
Cathy 
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ShariRae
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #6 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 12:37pm » |
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Very well said Dave...
Shari
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Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
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Wendy the Brit
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #7 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 1:35pm » |
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That is wonderful Dave 
One to keep and read again
Wendy
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cootie
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #8 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 9:58pm » |
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Strong emotion and feelings in your poem Dave.....powerful stuff !!! Hang tight and hang tough......cuz yer worth it Pam
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JDH
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Re: An expression of pain...sorry if I upset some
« Reply #9 on: Apr 27th, 2003, 10:04pm » |
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good stuff,
thanks for sharing Dave.
Jim
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9-11-01, to remember is to honor.
It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
ECH established 1985
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