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Topic: Headlines (Read 220 times) |
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Ted
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Heart disease is the Number One killer of women; "unless you're married to Scott Peterson," hedges CDC spokesman
1 in 4 Harlem kids has Asthma; Musicologists fear upcoming shortage of Human Beat Boxes may signal end of "old-school" hip-hop
Laci Peterson's husband arrested with $10,000 in cash just 30 miles from Mexico; "While it does look suspicious, to be fair, it also sounds like the beginnings of a pretty good weekend," notes San Diego policeman who likes to party
Depression common in childhood obesity; "and offering kids an ice cream cone to make them feel better just makes it worse," says saddened parent
Bush says Syria is "getting the message" on Iraq; apparently, the message is "do whatever I want or America will bust your face in, you heathen sand-black persons"
The estate of deceased historian/accused-plagiarist Stephen Ambrose to release new children's book about exploring the Louisiana Purchase; working title was "Lewis and Clark: 2 Cats in Hats"
17 of 24 Albatross species face possible extinction; "There has never been a better time to be an Ancient Mariner!" beams elderly seafarer with glittering eye
Exposing infants to white noise may interfere with speech development; exposing them to black noise may lead to ebonics
Pilots now "packing heat in the cockpit;" Gay porn producers get yet another movie title from airline industry
In Florida, efforts continue to save beached whales; "Stop poking me!" growls sunbathing Rosie O'Donnell.
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Roxy
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Re: Headlines
« Reply #1 on: Apr 23rd, 2003, 9:56am » |
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ROTFLMFAO
Some of these were pretty darn funny!
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Einstein)
I used to have a handle on life....but it broke.
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brain_cramps
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Re: Headlines
« Reply #2 on: Apr 23rd, 2003, 11:22am » |
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on Apr 22nd, 2003, 7:46am, Ted wrote:| In Florida, efforts continue to save beached whales; "Stop poking me!" growls sunbathing Rosie O'Donnell. |
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LMAO !!! That one made my day already!!!
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echo
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: Headlines
« Reply #3 on: Apr 23rd, 2003, 11:33am » |
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I love these.. Keep em coming.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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