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Topic: Through my eyes... (Read 486 times) |
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cathy
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Through my eyes...
« on: Apr 8th, 2003, 4:54pm » |
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Most of you know Im a supporter not a sufferer.....this is how I felt when wes got hit the other night, which means the beast is back...it was also inspired by a friend who is a sufferer who asked what is it like to be on the other side......
I glance at the clock it's 2am
He's got that hollow look in his eyes again
Sadness, terror, haunting horror
For the beast has returned in his head to burrow
Out of our bed his right eye exploding
While the beast's latest dance begins it's unfolding
He's quickly reduced to a mass of flesh
Banging his head with his fists no re-dress
The cries, the groans, harrowing yells from the soul
Where the beast takes him, god only knows
A minutes an hour..... I can only wait
For this thing that lives with us to slowly abate
Each time the beast visits, without an invite
I kneel down and pray he'll find strength for the fight
My heart feels it's ripped from my very being
Noone should go through this hell that he's living
Im angry, helpless, frustrated and sad
Why should a human being suffer this bad
Through his pain I hear him say
"Please god, just take me, make the pain go away"
Again and again I can hear his calls
"I just can't take this anymore"
I don't give an answer, for who am I to say
That he should live with this for another day.......(but he will and he does)
It's 2.40am he begins to stop pacing
Dries his tears while his heart stops racing
But the look of despair is always the same
Cos he knows a few hours till the beast comes again
We glance at each other, there's no need for words
We're both fully aware that the beast has been heard
So life while he visits is partly our own
If you excuse the odd rocking, headbangs and groans
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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Edna
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #1 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 5:05pm » |
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THANK YOU FRIEND!!!!!
check your mail cathy
when you write about the words Wes utters during an attack.......girl, it hits a big ole nerve here.....  ........knowing that's some of the same things that come from my mouth during an attack, just kinda helps put things in a perspective that in a weird way helps......knowing once more that someone here feels the same things I do during an attack, only helps me know more that I AM NOT ALONE!!!!!!!
wishing many pf moments for wes right now, and warm hugs for you,
EDNA
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| « Last Edit: Apr 8th, 2003, 5:17pm by Edna » |
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CathiP
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Cathy-
That's nice.....no horrific......and touching, and raw, and somehow tender. Wes is lucky to have you there with him, and I am sorry either one of you must deal with these visits.
A friend of mine, who is a sufferer uses terms like "night crawler", and "exquisite pain"........if I didn't get it before, I did when I got those terms, and now, your prose.
For tonight, I hope there are no visits, no pain, no anguish....just peace.
Cathi
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brain_cramps
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #3 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 5:25pm » |
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no words...
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cootie
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #4 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 6:34pm » |
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Wow Cathy that was great....gave me goosebumps !!! I'm so sorry ta hear Wes is gettin hit again dam it....seems I have read on here where others have went thru hospital visits for surgery's whatever and got hit soon after even if it wasn't due for there cycle. I was hopein that wouldn't happen to you guys esp since Wes can't take the same meds now...hope you can work around that with the docs and he get some relief that works and be able to face all this a bit better or better then 'without' !!! Love to you girl and keep us posted Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Ree
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #5 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 10:16pm » |
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Cathy you have truly captured that feeling, a feeling I try to put away every time our cycle has ended here. So deep in the recesses of your inner most being have those feelings brewed until you could at last put them on paper in a tribute so real... Your words are beautiful. I too write poetry... and kids stories. It is a wonderful way to let out feelings... Thank you so much for sharing. Our family is sooooooooo sooooooo gifted... you my friend are one of those gifts... love Ree
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Callico
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #6 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 10:27pm » |
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I'm sorry!
You put it so well. We ch'ers put you supporters through the wringer as well. Sometimes it is as hard tosit with someone else and "feel" the pain right along with them, but still cannot quite share it.
You both are in our prayers. Thanks for the support you give to us as well as to Wes.
jc
P.S. I think the beauty of love is that God designed it in such a way that it is more truly expressed in bad times than in the good.
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"When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me I shall come forth as gold." Job23:9,10
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don
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That one even got to me.
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fubar
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #8 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 12:09am » |
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Some days I really appreciate the fact that, unlike myself, some people aren't artistically disabled (I have a certificate to prove it but it doesn't get me the good parking spaces)
Well done. I swear I didn't get choked up and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
-Fu
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"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Scotty_Dog
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #9 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 1:03am » |
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What can I say but thankyou. My wife can relate to your nights of watching. The greatest pain is seeing your loved one trying to help. You and yours are in my prayers.
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Doc says,
"the pain is all in your head"
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ZAIRA
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #10 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 7:01am » |
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Thanks Cathy  , you are a special friend and a wonderful supporter for Wes and for all us.
How we can go on without you… In Italy to people like you we say "Ti voglio bene"… there is no translation into English… it is “I love you” told with affection to a special friend. So… “I love you” Cathy!!
Thanks for you support that you transmit to all these clusteheads.
Zaira
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| « Last Edit: Apr 9th, 2003, 7:42am by ZAIRA » |
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Love yourself, Love others, Love often, Forever!
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TomM
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #11 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 7:55am » |
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Wow! That sums it up for sure.
Excellent piece.
Thank you for sharing.
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
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Mark C
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Onward through the fog.
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #12 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 7:57am » |
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wow
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Click The Flag
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TomM
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #13 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 8:04am » |
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BTW--love da shoes! 
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
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Roxy
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #14 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 9:45am » |
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Wow....very moving and affecting Cathy. You made the words both beautiful and horrific.
To me it's very disturbing to hear, put down in words, what my husband must go through watching me. I wish we could spare our supporters that type of pain.
Wishing you both strength right now,
Tracey
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Einstein)
I used to have a handle on life....but it broke.
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Slammy
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #15 on: Apr 11th, 2003, 10:17am » |
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Great Job Cathy!
It's a perspective that is real and we sufferers need to see it through clear eyes..... thank you, all you supporters out there... for taking the time to learn, to understand, to do anything to help us....
Now, STFU and leave me alone! ;D
dammit! I hate when a new cycle is kickin in! 
Love ya all!
Slammy 
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That's it! Everyone out of the pool!
" Everytime I try to get out, they PULL me back in! "
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Bonniegirl
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #16 on: Apr 11th, 2003, 11:22am » |
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Your words just grabbed my heart. Thank you for making me feel a little less crazy. You've got such a talent for really taking a person to that place we know too well. How the heck do you guys do it? I am inspired. PFDANs -Bonniegirl
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hanisdee
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #17 on: Apr 11th, 2003, 6:48pm » |
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I actually started crying when I read that, it is so true!
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Chrissy
Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody is watching.........
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cathy
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Not all those that wander are lost......
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #18 on: Apr 11th, 2003, 6:53pm » |
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on Apr 11th, 2003, 10:17am, Slammy wrote:Great Job Cathy!
dammit! I hate when a new cycle is kickin in!
Slammy |
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Hey Slammy I hope that doesn't mean your back in cycle again...
btw...which job are you refering too...
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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Opus
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Re: Through my eyes...
« Reply #19 on: Apr 11th, 2003, 8:26pm » |
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Great poem Cathy,
Opus 
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