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Topic: Extra Extra (Read 371 times) |
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Ted
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Extra Extra
« on: Mar 26th, 2003, 12:03am » |
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March Madness begins; US looks good against Iraq, but will have to face North Korea to advance to the Sweet 16
1.7 billion people in the world are obese; "the real tragedy is that there are only about 3 job openings for jolly weatherman," notes epidemiologist
Bush demands that American POWs get humane treatment; "We can guarantee that they will be treated as well as any prisoner in Texas," chuckles Iraqi guard ominously
White men still outearn other groups; continue to lag far behind in jumping ability
Ticketmaster creator Robert Leonard dead at 70; scalpers offer front-pew seating at funeral for $1500
New clues on how HIV evades antibodies found; "apparently the virus convinces White Blood cells that the immune system is just going through an 'experimental' phase"
Army says that Sergeant who threw grenades into tent had an "attitude problem;" Other psychological profiling reveals that Hitler was not a "morning person"
Presidential reading program launched; "We hope to have Bush at a 3rd grade level by his next term in office," says hopeful educator
US life expectancy tops 77 years; "That's 11 in my years," barks Rosie O'Donnell
Celebrity suicides are 14 times more likely to prompt copycat suicides; unfortunately the copycats are not likely to be celebrities
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