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Topic: W. T. F??? (Read 949 times) |
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Brian_Y
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I come home tonight and my wife infroms me that she is leaving me. I never, never, never, never am maudlin nor do I ask for "help" a lot, but what am I supposed to do? I feel like I am in a dream. And a bad one at that....
I just do not understand. I make tons of money, am compassionte, soft-spoken, kind, etc. and this is what I am greeted with when I come home???
What the fuck???
I need help, friends.....Help.
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cathy
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #1 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 6:50pm » |
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 ....Brian I am sooooo sorry ...I really don't know what to say, except I know everyone will be here for you....sometimes there is no reason why these things happen...just that they do, everything may seem unreal right at this moment but hang in there.....sending you some real strong vibes to try and help you through this...
Cathy
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My own tears would mean nothing to me, if I could stop you from just shedding one....
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cootie
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #2 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 6:58pm » |
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So sorry Brian_Y......did she give you a reason ?? Dam dude......I am really sorry esp if you didn't see that one comein that'd be one hell-of-a shocker.....keep in touch......least we can all lend an ear of nothin else.......Pam-Cootzie
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Roxy
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #3 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 6:59pm » |
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OMG Brian….I am so, so sorry. It’s not enough in life we have to take shit from this damned beast that haunts us, but sometimes it seems like it’s too much when all the life shit hits us too. I know there is nothing I can say or do to help your situation, just know that you have my thoughts and prayers.
You are tough enough to handle this….you are a clusterhead, and there is no tougher group of people on the face of the earth. Just hang in there and be tough…we are all here for you. Sometimes life can have no rhyme or reason, and you feel like it’s just biting you on the ass for fun, but it will work out….even though you may not think so right now.
Tracey
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Mark C
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Onward through the fog.
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #4 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:28pm » |
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Well fuck me running....another Clusterbud in a shit storm....damn...enough is enough. I dont know why it seem like us Clusterheads are getting more than our fair share of shit.
Brian I am sorry.....I went through a divorce after being with the same woman for 17 years....and it sucked. It didnt kill me, but it sucked....big donkey dicks!
About the only advice I can give you is to march right throught he middle of it so you can get to the other side. I am sending you extra powerful positive vibes...I hope it all works out for the best.
PFDAN's
Mark
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2late
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #5 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:28pm » |
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this suck's Brian, i have a good bud who had this happen, right outta the blue, he found out she was cheatin'.....i hope this isn't her reason, good luck i hope it works out for ya, let us know. ..........Jack
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Ree
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IM supporting...
« Reply #6 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:33pm » |
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Hi... This is what I want you to do... Go for a long ride get out of the car in a secluded area... preferably on a mountain or in a field away from everyone and scream as loud and as long as you can... Get back in your car. Go home and start taking care of yourself. Get up tomorrow, take a shower and look the best you can... Dive into your work. Think about YOU and what YOU will do with the rest of YOUR life. The best revenge is to make her sorry that she ever uttered those words to you. YOU WILL overcome.
When my X left me I thought of all the things he had told me for years... No one would want me... I was worthless, stupid, you name it. I showed him. I cried and screamed and kicked and threw my tantrum then I picked myself up and did better than him... Not so much financially at first but spritually... it felt good not to have him around. Then when I felt better I started smiling more... working better. He wanted to come back... I would have needed a labotomy to take him back... Within four years I had done things I would have never done with him in my life... I moved out of my home town... I married one of my best friends and bought a house. My boys grades went up. Life got much better. Now I have a little girl to add to my list of things I would never have had if I had stayed with him... Now there are times that THIS LIFE isnt easy either... but when I think of where I was then... I am so happy to be HERE. Maybe she did you the biggest favor yet... it might take a while to see it but... remember my story and tell me later if I am right. Who knows maybe your CH attacks will end... Good luck friend... I hope God sends you an Angel...
remember folks I know its Lent I'm supporting I'm doin Gods work...
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| « Last Edit: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:37pm by Ree » |
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Charlie
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #7 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:36pm » |
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Damn sorry Brian.
I don't know what to say other than maybe time can be a factor.
Rats.
Ya never get a break.
Charlie
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tanner
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #8 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:41pm » |
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my god brian, i am so sorry to hear this . hang tough my friend........
in our next lives we are all gonna be spectacular, pain free, always happy, fantastically rich in both mind and spirit!!!!!! cuz we are payin some big fuckin dues...............
tim
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Lori
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #9 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 7:56pm » |
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I am really sorry to hear yet another family will be broken. My husband and I divorced each other about 4 yrs ago and then remarried (each other) a year later. I see alot of the things we did wrong that led us to divorce. My advice to you would be to try to do everything in your power to save the marriage. If you do everything in your power and she still insists on leaving,,,at least you personally will not have any regrets of not trying to save the marriage. Get counseling, if she refuses, go get it yourself. Better yet! Go to www.divorcecare.com and look for a class in your area. I went to these classes after my husband and I decided to remarry (I was still confused) and I know if I would have gone to these classes before we divorced,,,I would have never gone thru with the divorce. These classes are a must, even if she won't go, you go and they will help you in your healing process.
I wish you the best of luck Brian.
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Blessings and PFDAN,
Lori
Psalm 23:4 ~ Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
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StanTheMan
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #10 on: Mar 5th, 2003, 8:35pm » |
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Brian,
I'm so very sorry to hear about this.
I have never walked where you are right now, so I can't say "I've been there. But know that you are surrounded by a whole bunch of clusterheads that really care about you!!
I agree with Lori (just for what it's worth). If you really love this gal -- fight this divorce. Granted, IF she hasn't been faithful -- that can put a new swist on the whole situation.
Bottom line: Many marriages can be saved! She would have to meet you half-way, of course. But like Lori said, even if you try to save it and you fail, at least you'll have the peace of mind that says "I honestly tried to make it work". Hang in there, Brian.
Prayers,
Stan
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"All the days of the afflicted are bad, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast." - - - - - Proverbs 15:15
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Brian_Y
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Thank you all...I mean that too. I feel as tho I am in an absurdist play or something. Nothing was wrong. I do not get it. I guess I'm just sad. Been crying for a few hours. Not done that in a while. It's simply puzzling. Maybe that's the problem after I think about it. I look at things as just some intellectual puzzle. Regardless, I am just sad I reckon. Who am I gonna hold hands woith now? Or go shagging with in Charleston? So ridiculous.
Maybe I should just give up...So so rdiculous.
But I do thank you all for your kindness...
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Woobie
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #12 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 7:44am » |
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on Mar 5th, 2003, 8:42pm, Brian_Y wrote:
Maybe I should just give up...So so rdiculous.
But I do thank you all for your kindness... |
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UMmmmmmmm??? Give up WHAT?? Whatchu talkin bout willis??
Listen here.. Clusterheads dont give up NUTTIN!! You hang in there.. do what you have to do to get thru it.. but GET THRU IT!! You will be ok!!
Please dont give up!!!! If I've learned anything from this site, it's that Clusterheads are THE strongest people in the world, and they DONT give up!!
I like REE's advice best..
Keep your chin up!! Let us know how you are!!
Tina 
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suzy617
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #13 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 8:19am » |
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Brian, So sorry for whats going on in your life right now, damn... I have nothing to offer other then all the great advice you've been offered already so I will just let you know we are always here for you and you will get thru this and move on. It just all takes time...
suzy
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echo
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #14 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 8:39am » |
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Sorry to read this Brian. It sucks. Been there.
Suggestion: Hire an attorney TODAY and file first. You got to beat her to the court docket. You can always pull yours if the tides change. You'll get a better shake it you are 1st through the door.
Good luck
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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Ann
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #15 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 9:01am » |
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Brian,
Give up? ARe you nuts? No way are you going to give up. That's too easy and no self respecting clusterhead would do that! Sometimes, we think everything is perfect and we live on a cloud. What's perfect to us isn't necessarily perfect to our spouse. Talk to her and find out why. I don't know the circumstances, but I bet that there is some way the two of you can work this out. Communication is the only way to solve this. Talk to each other, don't give up. Marriage is never easy in the best of circumstances..when dealing with illness it really puts a strain. TALK TO HER!!!
Hugs and positive vibes to you
Ann
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Peppermint
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #16 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 9:12am » |
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WTF seems to be the words hanging over many people's heads lately, and this is not a good thing.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. It really is harsh when you don't have the answer to "Why?" Echo may have a point there....you may not feel up to it but you may be the better for it in the long run.
Give up?....Nope Brian, never thought you'd be thinking that you'd be thinking that way.
Peace man. Everything will be ok.
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FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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kim
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #17 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 9:22am » |
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Brian,
Don't give up! You got a lot of good advice here. The only thing we can't make go away is the pain that you have to go through and that really sucks. I wish it weren't so, but it is. Please know that you are not alone. Many people here who are with you every step of the way, whicever way those steps lead!!!
Peace, Kim
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CathiP
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Brian,
No advice, never been there, I can only tell you to push through this-with all your might! You don't even know what the outcome might be, so, as I have been told on many occasions, "take the high road".....and look out for yourself and your daughter.
You do have plenty of friends here, please continue to post , so we know you're okay, and HEY, you're a CLUSTERHEAD! You will rise from these ashes.
Check in with us when you can, Brian, let us know you're surviving- but I know you will.
Let me know when you're due in town, and give me a jingle if I can help.
Cathi
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TomM
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #19 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 12:08pm » |
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Brian--You have been a lot of advice in this thread and I have nothing to offer but well wishes. Good luck.
TomM
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
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Brian_Y
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I am NOT giving up, goddammit. Not. No one here knows me persoannly, but I can tel you this. I'll rot in hell before I give up. Giving up is for pussies. Excuse my French, but I have had enough....I'll keep you apprised....
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Woobie
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #21 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 3:13pm » |
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GOOD for YOU Brain!!
Glad to hear it!!
Hang in there!!
Tina
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CathiP
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Now, THAT'S the right attitude!
No blanket over your head, no surrender!!
You know what you want, and you'll fight for it.....
You make me proud, Brian!
Cathi
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TomM
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #23 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 4:56pm » |
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That's Excellent news!
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
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K.
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Re: W. T. F???
« Reply #24 on: Mar 6th, 2003, 5:31pm » |
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on Mar 6th, 2003, 2:34pm, Brian_Y wrote:| I am NOT giving up, goddammit. |
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Karen
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