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Topic: Newspaper headlines in 2036 (Read 495 times) |
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brain_cramps
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Newspaper headlines in 2036
« on: Jan 28th, 2003, 3:50pm » |
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Newspaper headlines in 2036:
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens north-western United States crops & livestock.
Baby conceived naturally .... scientists stumped.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East
(formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)
Iraq still closed off....physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%
Average price of a single family home in Southern California is $2,500,000. A three bedroom apartment now rents for $8,000 a month.
Celebrating Christmas now officially a felony as it offends too many people.
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #1 on: Jan 28th, 2003, 4:27pm » |
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Good one dude....but whata the price of Imitrex be ? Pam 
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LTBullitt
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #2 on: Jan 28th, 2003, 4:31pm » |
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President Chelsea Clinton
I could go for that one man.
Hillary would make a wonderful prez IMO
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Mark C
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #3 on: Jan 28th, 2003, 4:43pm » |
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Good stuff......the bitch is most of it will likely come true!
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Charlie
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #4 on: Jan 28th, 2003, 11:54pm » |
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2036: The George Bush Texon Building in Baghdad collapses from shoddy construction and the use of Indonesian steel, leveling most of the winter homes of US drug company executives. Reconstruction to be paid for by food and clothing sales tax increases to 35%.
Clinton and Bush dynasties....Like the Martins and the Coys.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Mark C
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Onward through the fog.
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #5 on: Jan 29th, 2003, 12:55pm » |
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on Jan 28th, 2003, 11:54pm, Charlie wrote:
Clinton and Bush dynasties....Like the Martins and the Coys
Charlie
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OK Charlie, I'll bite, who are The Martins and the Coys? Sounds like neighbors of mine here in the trailer park.
http://www.mobilehomeparkstore.com/directory/listtennesse.htm
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| « Last Edit: Jan 29th, 2003, 12:59pm by Mark C » |
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Brian_Y
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #6 on: Jan 29th, 2003, 3:12pm » |
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People wake up and realize that right-wing politics is a waste of time and the easy way out. Feh
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Charlie
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #7 on: Jan 29th, 2003, 11:23pm » |
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OK.
The Martins and the Coys (Martins and McCoys) families are West Virginia mountain hillbillies who have been feuding for more than 100 years. Several of them have been killed and they are the most famous family feuders. There's even a song:
"The Martins and the Coys were restless mountain boys" etc. I forget the rest. They families got to be pretty famous.
God I'm old
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Hound_Dogg
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Re: Newspaper headlines in 2036
« Reply #8 on: Jan 30th, 2003, 3:22am » |
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Isn't that the Hatfields and the McCoys??? Or am I thinking of another feuding family?
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