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Topic: Classic Doc lines (Read 2342 times) |
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jonny
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"It could be a number of things"
Theres one, I know you all got another....lets hear them!!
.................jonny
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Cerberus
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Whomever said that two heads are better than one?
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #1 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 2:15pm » |
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" Are you having the pain now?"
" Where does it hurt?"
a couple more...
Cerebus
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I would rather face the end with terror than terror without end. - (Deitrich Sawatsky 194?)
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #2 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 2:17pm » |
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This might not be a classic.
"It probably isn't CH, it's so rare."
My first neuro. Didn't hazard a guess as to what it was I was suffering from..
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- Aleksi
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marty
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #3 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 2:20pm » |
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Jonny..
This may not be a Doctor - it was a Kaiser Nurse and it really happened..
Flue shot - stand in line, Nurse jabs the needle in my arm and injects the "stuff". Takes the needle out and blood it coming out from the injection site.
She freaks out: "You have an allergic reaction and have to sit in this chair for 30 minutes"
I sit in the chair for 30 minutes and the Nurse tells me that it was a light reaction and I was clear to leave.
As I open the door to leave, she tell me in a loud voice: "If you, within the next hour, find that you can't breath - you have to call 911 imidiately"!!!
Marty
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jimmers
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Hello GOD! The gene pool needs some chlorine!
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #4 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 2:25pm » |
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DOC: "With all of the symtoms that you have right now, they must be migraines"
ME: "If not a very nice persons could fly, this would be an airport" ;D
Seeya,
Jimbo
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I don't suffer from INSANITY; I'm enjoying every minute of it!
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jonny
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YUP!!!!
Thats what Im looking for, Marty
Horror Doc stories or lines.
.........................jonny
LMMFAO@ Jimbo.........If A-s-sh-oles could fly this would be an airport".......LMAO ;D
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| « Last Edit: Dec 21st, 2002, 2:31pm by jonny » |
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Frank
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The first time I asked my Dr. for Imitrex injections for CH, he asked the nurse to give me an injection... only I wasn't having an attack at the time.
I asked WTF is this for? So the nurse said the Dr. ordered it because I had asked for Imitrex. I told the nurse, "yeah... I want a prescription for it... I don't need a shot now".
Totally clueless. Fortunately, they know better now.
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K bogo
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #7 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 3:33pm » |
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"Sometimes seasonal allergies can cause occasional bad headaches and a stuffy nose. Let's get you a perscription for Allegra and see if that doesn't clear things up for you. "
This was after I had already been on 8 - 10 different medications that had failed. Go figure.
I must admit, I laughed at everyones posts here. Heard many of them myself.
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catlind
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #8 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 3:35pm » |
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My favorite...... 
With all my cluster info in hand, and a diagnosis of cluster headaches and migraines,
Neuro: "Clusters are just another type of Migraines"
*SCREAM*
Or, from an ER nurse, "it can't hurt THAT bad!" 
Or yet another: "I've seen this behaviour before, you are just looking for drugs"
Like if I wanted drugs, I could find them alot easier on the street, and they'd be a fuck of alot more fun than demerol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cat
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If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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K bogo
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #9 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 3:47pm » |
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Here's another:
"All of your MRI and CAT Scans came back negative. There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you."
I know I should have been happy, but after 6 doctors and numerous meds - this was very disheartening news for me.
Kim
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firebrix
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I must never weaken.
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #10 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 3:54pm » |
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What really irritated me in the early days of Mopar's CH was being told by medical professionals that the headaches would end. That they rarely lasted over twelve months. We kept waiting for them to end! When they didn't, the same professionals changed tack, and said "If you take this med, it'll fix the headaches". It didn't, and Mopar tried far too many.
When all those meds didn't work, and unable to deal with the continual pain and no sleep, he asked his doc (I'd read on the site that some used valium )for some 5mg Valium to help him to sleep. The doc said
"Do you have a drug problem?"
When Mopar replied that he didn't and then asked what made this alleged human ask this question, doc replied that he knew we did lots of shutdowns in industry, but we never had any money so assumed we spent it all on drugs.
Mopar replied thru clenched teeth that we actually PAY our staff well,(doctors don't) and as far as he knew, we didn't make as much as doctors and he too could be assumed to be a druggi - after all he looked poor (tacky dresser) was thin, with bad skin and had access!
The doc was deeply offended.
We changed doctors.
I thought it outrageous that a doctor should make a personal judgement (with no reason to) about us, denying treatment to one who obviously suffered in the extreme, while not looking inward at the same time.
But it's early and I'm tired.
Give me a few more hours and I'll think of more!!!!!
firebrix
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"All that it takes for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Edmund Burke
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SommelierCH
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #11 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 6:23pm » |
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The doctor before this one, was an “urgent care” Doc. Just to tied me over till I could get into the primary. I told her I didn’t want much, just a refill script for Maxalt MLT 10mg. or Zomig ZMT 5mg, and I brought the original boxes of each showing the script. She said “Oh no, these are very powerful drugs. I’m not a headache expert. I can’t give you a prescription for either of these, you might hurt yourself”. I gently replied “ Hurt myself? HURT MYSELF? HURT MYSELF?…Headache expert?…Lady, I self diagnosed my pain as cluster headaches, in 1986, from a “Readers Digest Medical Home Remedies” book that was laying around the house. Do you REALLY want me to hurt myself???” Funny, it didn’t take her very long to change her mind.
PFDAN,
David J.
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rwolkie
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #12 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 6:37pm » |
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From my first doc:
"ok here is a prescription, i dont think you will abuse them, they cost $180.00 per week"
First thought: "you must be f'n insane"
Second thought: " i'd like to SHOW you abuse you old prick"
Third thought: "you must be f'n insane"
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Not4Hire
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...WAS PF since Oct.'02, but ...oh my...(CBusters)
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #13 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 7:13pm » |
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Act I..Scene 5...(Scenes 1-4 were awaking with a brain aneurism or somefuckingthing, driving *somehow* to the ER, threatening the Admitting Nurse with mayhem, and begging for HEROIN)......... and the MRI tech/geek saying (w/ a smirk): "well, we looked in yer head and didn't find ANYTHING....ha ha ho ho...." luckily, I did not shoot this idiot where he stood..........
maybe this was ER *humor*.......I was NOT fucking amused........
Act III.....Scene 4 (the intervening Acts/Scenes were variations on the THEME).......the ER doc said: "....have ya ever tried o2?"....... THAT doctor has a place in My Personal Hall of Fame........( may he birdie every hole at his ex$pensive Country Club....forever........)
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Mantra: This will NOT kill me...This will not KILL me... This will not kill ME...
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ave
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You know,I HATE to contribute on this...
The doc that substituted for my own during vacation DID misdiagnose me... as Trigemenal Neuralgia.
BUT she said, `Hey I know this is a killing headache. You might get the urge to jump off the roof. Here's my private number, call me anytime, night or day...'
I can not blame her for the wrong diagnosis. She cared...
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suzy617
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #15 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 8:07pm » |
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1- Are you taking cocaine?
2- What makes you think you have CH? This affects mostly men?
pleazzzzzze........just fuckin help me and stop asking such stupid questions....
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When God measures men, He puts the tape around the heart, not the head.
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Frank
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on Dec 21st, 2002, 7:32pm, ave wrote:You know,I HATE to contribute on this...
The doc that substituted for my own during vacation DID misdiagnose me... as Trigemenal Neuralgia.
BUT she said, `Hey I know this is a killing headache. You might get the urge to jump off the roof. Here's my private number, call me anytime, night or day...'
I can not blame her for the wrong diagnosis. She cared... |
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Your doctor may have got it wrong at first, but she actually cared. She gets a big thumbs up from me 
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Charlie
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #17 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 8:26pm » |
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I asked my 12 year old neurologist if had many Cher patients. He said he had a few. Then he said:
"Cluster headaches can be very painful."
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Mark C
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Onward through the fog.
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #18 on: Dec 21st, 2002, 8:55pm » |
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I was mis-diagnosed for many years. At one ear, nose & throat guy (one of many) I actually got a kip10 sitting in his damn exam chair, right on front of him. I was like "alright, finally someone who KNOWS will SEE IT!"
I was going to finally get help, this guy was doing something! What he was doing was preparing to use a cannula on my sinuses.
Main Entry: can·nu·la
Pronunciation: 'kan-y&-l&
Function: noun : a small tube for insertion into a body cavity or into a duct or vessel
This guy was sticking a small metal hose in MY sinus and filling the sinus with saline solution and using a vacuum to remove it, in hopes of clearing up my "sinus infection"
30 seconds into the procedure I felt violently ill and said
"I AM GOING TO BLOW"...........and did......everywhere. This is the same guy who used a vacuum on my ears and had me in tears from the pain, and I ain't no stranger to pain! Needless to say he didnt help me much, evil bastard! It was still several years after this before I was finally sent to a Neuro, buy ANOTHER ENT as as a matter of fact.
SHEEEEEEESH..............PF Holidays to all
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K bogo
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #19 on: Dec 22nd, 2002, 3:53pm » |
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Yup, I can just keep on contributing if you give me long enough to think about it!.....
FOR ALL YOU WOMEN WITH CLUSTERS  .......
When I asked the doctor if it could be Cluster Headaches he left the room, came back and said....
"No, my book says that is mainly a Man's headache - typically men over 50, heavy drinkers and smokers. But I will tell you, hormones can really give my wife a headache around her "cycle". I think that might be an avenue we should explore. Do you feel like your hormones are in balance?"
Kim
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Azrael
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Sometimes... Being good just ain't worth it.
 
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #20 on: Dec 22nd, 2002, 4:21pm » |
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"Children don't get headaches."
PFDAN.................................... Drk^Angel
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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jonny
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Tell that to a 14 year old ME when I first got CH.
I love you ,DRK 
..........................jonny
Mark C.....Id be pissed too if someone was sticking a metal hose in my anus.......LOL ;D
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| « Last Edit: Dec 22nd, 2002, 4:42pm by jonny » |
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Brassbear
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"...here, try this O2, but the tank may be empty and it might not do any good..." D'OH!
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Roxy
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #23 on: Dec 22nd, 2002, 7:54pm » |
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"It's just stress headaches...if you go home, relax, and stop worrying about things they will go away!"
YEAH...RIGHT...I really wanted to make him go away.
R
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. (Einstein)
I used to have a handle on life....but it broke.
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Jackie
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Go For It!!!
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Re: Classic Doc lines
« Reply #24 on: Dec 22nd, 2002, 8:08pm » |
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This was not CH related, of course, but still silly/classic. ;D
My doctor once told me I was pregnant....but just a little...
I told him he had been watching to many comedians..
Jacks 
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| « Last Edit: Dec 22nd, 2002, 8:10pm by Jackie » |
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