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Topic: Washington Post Headlines (Read 211 times) |
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Ted
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Washington Post Headlines
« on: Dec 3rd, 2002, 2:17am » |
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It's still National Lampoon. Still falling for it?
Americans mark World AIDS day with rallies, gay jokes
Asian stocks steady as reports from Monster Island remain positive
Bush's twin daughters turn 21; Texas bar owners brace for record year
Separated twins to return to Guatemala for Christmas; "that's a hell of a present," notes one sister
Canadian politician forced to resign after calling Bush "a Moron"; Emperor's tailor unveils new line of invisible clothes perfect for Northern winters
Bush asks Americans to pledge 2 years of their lives to Public Service; vows to do his good work for America immediately after leaving office
Heidi Klum's marriage is over; despite real possibility of supermodel engaging in promiscuous bouts of "rebound sex," you in particular are not advised to get your hopes up
Senators warn of dangers from missile attacks; "Look out for missiles," says Senator helpfully
Israeli tanks raid Gaza town, bring back 20 sets of panties
Producer sues Madonna for not giving him credit for "Swept Away"; Madonna files countersuit to force him to take it
SUPER BONUS HEADLINES
Affirmative action case awaits Supreme Court review; in discouraging footnote, Rehnquist says court is entitled to move "on Colored People's Time"
Porn business booms despite weak economy; "We're the last ones to feel the squeeze," says actor proud of his staying power
Peanut butter may prevent diabetes; definitely good for getting dogs to perform cunnilingus
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Charlie
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Re: Washington Post Headlines
« Reply #1 on: Dec 3rd, 2002, 6:29am » |
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Hilarious Ted...some of the best I've seen.
The following got lost in the shuffle and I thought I'd bring it back up for awhile:
Henry is baaaaack.......I lifted most of this but you guys know me. I love this stuff
Who better to investigate an unwarranted attack on America than the man who played Iago to Richard Nixon, telling him he'd be "a weakling" if he did not prosecute newspapers running the Pentagon Papers, and wiretapping journalists? It‘s safe to investigate 9/11 now, secure in the knowledge that Mr. Kissinger has never shed light on a single dark corner, or failed to flatter a boss.
If you want to get to the bottom of something, you don't appoint Henry Kissinger. If you want to keep others from getting to the bottom of something, you appoint Henry Kissinger. Bush and Cheney are in tune with Mr. Kissinger's principles: that the greatest enemy of the U.S. is the U.S. media.
George never disappoints.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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domm
New Board Old Timer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Washington Post Headlines
« Reply #2 on: Dec 3rd, 2002, 8:29pm » |
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Ted - you seem to enjoy this stuff. Here's another site if you haven't already stumbled across it..
http://www.theonion.com/
or my favorite - real news that's too wierd to even make up
http://www.fark.com/
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