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Topic: 'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'? (Read 203 times) |
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brain_cramps
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'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'?
« on: Dec 2nd, 2002, 3:29pm » |
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I think that the BEAST is an accurate description, but after 20yrs of these, I can't see how these resemble a 'dance'. For me, it seems more like being Mike Tyson's sparring partner for a month or two!
Anyone else?
We got the best bunch of 'cornermen' in the world and WE WILL WIN!!!
 
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echo
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: 'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'?
« Reply #1 on: Dec 2nd, 2002, 3:35pm » |
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Agreed
To me a dance is enjoyment, two people moving in unison with each other.
To Dance with the beast would be to follow his lead to stay with him.
Maybe it's more like a wrestling match, trying to guess the opponents next move and counter it in an attempt to pin, or win the match.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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SFChris
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Re: 'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'?
« Reply #2 on: Dec 2nd, 2002, 4:04pm » |
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I don't know about you guys, but dancing with the beast is the best description I have heard...not much of a dance actually, but more like jumping around holding my friggin head (and eye) while swearing like a dockworker.
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OneEyeBlind
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Yea, I can do this
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Re: 'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'?
« Reply #3 on: Dec 2nd, 2002, 4:07pm » |
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I don't know. Have ya ever dropped something really heavy on your foot and done the HURT dance ... that's what its like for me !!!
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Jill
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"Life is a series of goodbyes and hellos" Billy J.
 
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Re: 'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'?
« Reply #4 on: Dec 2nd, 2002, 4:32pm » |
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To me, this whole ordeal is nothing more than a dance but I think more on an emotional level than anything.
Did you ever notice how when you dance with someone, you are usually close together? That you move with the beat of the music? That is how it feels for me, it seems that this beast is holding me close to him and together we dance to his music, his beat, his song. When the music is slow, it is as if he is lurking, constantly reminding me that he is there and that we will always dance. Those times that the beat picks up, those are the times when the pain is the worst. We dance, he brings me closer, he thrusts his daggers into my head, his claws attempts to rip out my eye. Those are the times that he brings me to my knees, crying in pain, begging for mercy, pleading for it just to end.
To me, I have to be able step on his toes, interrupt his beat, try to overcome his music, his song with my own. This is what I have to do but he is so strong that I cannot, not yet, maybe not ever.
This is just me, I can think of no other way to view this pain that is inflicted upon me, all of this. I am on a dance floor, looking for the stars that are hidden, trying to find anyone else who may be dancing. There are times when there is no one else, when loneliness overwhelms me, it is just this beast and I and then there are times when it seems as though there are so many people that I am trying to reach but I cant.
I am sorry, I think that I have said to much, I just want you to understand just a little as to why this is a dance for me, yes he is still the beast but we do dance and dance and then dance some more. It is a dance of pain, a dance for freedom, a dance for relief, a dance to just survive.
Hope this makes some sense, sorry for being so deep.
Jill
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"If you learn from your suffering and really come to understand the lesson you were taught you might be able to help someone else who is now in the phase. Maybe that is what its all about after all.."
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echo
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: 'Beast' I can see, but 'dance'?
« Reply #5 on: Dec 2nd, 2002, 4:37pm » |
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Very nicely put Jill. Sorry to read that your bouts with the beast are as you describe. You will beat the SOB, of that I am sure! Keep up the fight. He'll get bored and move on.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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