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Topic: I am really Tired! (Read 808 times) |
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Elaine
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I never thought I would be writing this. I am tired I am so tired I can't stand it. My leggs hurt so bad I can't stand it at times. The pain meds suck. I would reather hurt than lose my mind. I am not one to say I can't take things any more. I am at that point now.
I have a couple of good friends that stuck with me all the way and I thank them for that. I don't know what I would have done without them. They never missed more than a day or two checking on me. Thanks Jackie and Margi.
I was given six months to a year in Sep. I was told today how wonderful heaven is and how much I am going to like it and about all the people I am goin to see.
I am sure if I am lucky enough to go there I will like it. I am not so sure thats where I am going.
The good thing is I am not having clusters LOL what a fucking trade off !
I can't help any of you any more. I can't support anyone any more. When I was able to give and help I felt like I belonged here. I am not and have not been able to help in the last year. Maybe I just been mad at the whole wold and just did not know it.
I am sorry that I have not been able to give, I don't have any thing left I am sorry.
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ave
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What you are giving with this message is already a lot.
A salutary reminder that there's more to suffering than clusters, for one.
And I am absolutely sure, as sure as an agnostic like myself can be, that you will not be going to the other place.
And not soon either!
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suzy617
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #2 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 10:01am » |
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Elaine, I've never met you but feel like I know you. In my eyes you are a very caring, thoughtful and wonderful woman. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
suzy
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domm
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #3 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 10:09am » |
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Elaine - while you are down, why not let us give to you? You've paid in advance. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
domm
"may the road rise to meet you...."
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nancyc
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #4 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 10:45am » |
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OK, sis...you have loved us for a long time now...time to let us return that love...and noone here plus Buddy is ready to let you go yet......please know i am always here for you if you ever need to talk....just pick up the phone and give me a call...oh, i am getting your package off this week...has been hectic here ...smiles, nancyc
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jonny
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That will be enough of that talk E-baby.....if giving paid you would be a millionaire, you need not give to anyone. You take care of you and thats an order.
Ya hear me?
....................jonny
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2002, 11:45am by jonny » |
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Jimi
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #6 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 11:30am » |
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Life here is short, thats for sure. As a believer, you have been tested and you have persevered. You have done so much for so many here at Clusterland that I would think that you have many jewels in your crown. Like the others, if you need to talk, just let me know. I am sending love from Kentucky to your heart.
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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Edna
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #7 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 11:59am » |
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OK Elaine, MY TURN 
What kind of talk is this may I ask ??????????
"I can't help any of you any more. I can't support anyone any more"
well, well missy.........THAT is SOOOOOOoooooo untrue
just having you write that post here FOR us is still giving enough for me.....Support is what all the ones here who KNOW ANYTHING are here for....
So e-baby (as good ole jonny calls ya) check your mail my darling
Love you,
EDNA 
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Margi
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #8 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 12:38pm » |
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um...TS? You ain't goin anywhere, honey. You and I still have to deliver that pair of crotchless hose to Jonny. He FORGOT them in Vancouver.  Men.
So, now we have to get him a new pair and deliver them in person at the next Family Reunion.
Plus, Mike will have another hat for you next year and he's got a whole presentation skit all rehearsed for you.
So, my dear, consider this your Canadian kick in the ass. And, by the way, you ARE allowed to take a break, and just smell the coffee (or in your case, Coke) for awhile, ya know. You've been pushing so hard these last few months, getting ready for the move. You're allowed a lil time off right now. But you KNOW we'll come hunting for you if you're don't shoot off a rocket so we know you're there. Are we clear?
p.s. by this time next year, your hair will be longer than mine and I think we should look into some new 'do's for ya.
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
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IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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Jackie
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #9 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 3:15pm » |
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Yep....what Margi said!!!!!!
You ain't going anywhere, Toots....we got shit to do!!!!!!
Pick up your phone...it's ringing..
Love you my friend,
Jackie 
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Ree
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #10 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 3:20pm » |
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~~~Rest friend, rest... one day at a time, one minute at a time thats all you can ask... love ya girl Ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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2late
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #11 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 3:47pm » |
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E, we've never met but around here you have given more than any two people.....take care of yourself, good luck sweet E. .........2late
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Mastifflvr28
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #12 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 4:01pm » |
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Yup, what all those guys said.
It's our turn to support, you've given and given!
Take a break, relax...then when you get into that new house, you break out that recliner and you go chat
Love you sweety,
You're a strong chic and we are here for you!
Mast
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Mastifflvr28 (aka Michelle A.)
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The mad viking
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #13 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 4:34pm » |
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I dont know how to start Elaine.
But please just sit back and take all the good thoughts from everybody of us now.You deserve that.
you have been here for everybody in good and bad so finally now its our turn to give some support back to you my friend
Svenn
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2002, 5:42pm by The mad viking » |
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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BarbaraG
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #14 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 4:39pm » |
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Elaine, my friend, do you know how much I love you? I can't call you as I'm staying with relatives in LA> If you need to talk to me, you can reach me at 985-537-0784. I'll always be here for you. You mean the world to me. I know you're tired but hang in there. Love, Me
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Charlie
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #15 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 4:51pm » |
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You're not supposed to post when you're tired Elaine. I'll be here when you come back with another post complaining that everyone but me are a bunch of jerks...there are exceptions (gotta cover my derrier) 
Besides, we aren't though with you here. We're just waiting for one of your new threads to mess up 
Do whatever it is you do and keep this place on its toes.
Get some rest first kid.
Charlie
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Peppermint
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #16 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 5:02pm » |
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Elaine.....
In the brief time knowing you, I've seen you "break it down" , and tough mama that you are..... you are still doing it.
So many people are saying it, and I know I feel the same....you have many shoulders to lean on..... pick one, pick all.....you are past due on taking a break. Get your rest....you'll bounce back in no time.
Peppermint
p.s. check your email.
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FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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Jill
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #17 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 5:24pm » |
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Not sure what I can say that hasnt been said...but that we are here for you.
You have given us so much love, support, compassion and now it is time for you to accept all that we give you...do that okay?
Rest up and come back fighting...you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Be strong...
Jill
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"If you learn from your suffering and really come to understand the lesson you were taught you might be able to help someone else who is now in the phase. Maybe that is what its all about after all.."
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Elaine
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Thanks everyone!
Its like getting Old your Body just gives out and you don't want to rest, your afraid to rest. You want to do the things you use to. At least thats what I want !
I will be ok just got to get use to it all.
you guys know me I am a bitch when I can't do what I need to do.
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BobG
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #19 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 7:39pm » |
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Lady Elaine,
We've never met face to face but we've been friends for the last four years.
I know a thing or two about you and number one on the list is God does have a special place for you...................when the time comes.
But, the time is not soon. Take a break, take time to build your strength and come back and talk to us.
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #20 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 8:41pm » |
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Elaine, just keep fighting the new beast that has come your way. You have given to the board and now it is your turn to take. Take strength and prayers from us cause they are coming your way !!!! Praying for ya.
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BuddyH
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Damn it, doctors have been wrong before. They are wrong now! You are tired. Your expected to be tired. Just because your tired does not mean the end is near. Your doing chemo, it makes you tired.
I know you been fighting this a long time and it has been a hard fight. You fought clusters for over twenty years, you fought him with laughter and a good attitude. Do the same thing with this.
I love you and a lot of people here love you. You have traveled all over the country to met these people. I couldn't get you to drive through Atlanta before you met them. You think they forgot you, they have not forgot you. They just want you to rest. I want you to rest with a positive attitude.
If you should die and you are NOT, your going to heaven.
When you get scared tell me Please. When you feel alone if you can not talk to me, call any of these people. Don't keep all this in.
Fight baby fight like you do everything else. You tell me what to do to help you fight and I will do everything in my power to help. What ever YOU need I will give you. Just Fucking tell me Please. I feel real helpless right now. God I love you. I am not sure if I should kiss you or be mad at you. I think I will just crawl in bed with you and kiss you.
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Margi
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #22 on: Nov 30th, 2002, 10:23pm » |
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Psst...hey, Buddy....ya got any single brothers? Linda Howell is single. I gotta look out for my littlest twisted sister.
You'd best be listening to your husband, Mrs. Holloman. Sounds like he means business. And what, exactly, is it you're wanting your body to do? You chase a toddler around, all day long, you've been packing box after box lately, you're one of the most physically active people I know! Wait.......are you doing that dumpster diving again, woman? No wonder your knees are shot.
awesome post, Buddy. Thanks for taking such good care of her.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2002, 10:26pm by Margi » |
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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Ann
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #23 on: Dec 1st, 2002, 8:06am » |
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Elaine, you and I used to chat almost every day last spring. You told me some stuff during those chats as well as through your posts here. Let me refresh your memory...so you understand why you are so tired!
You have been taking care of little Johnny every day, regardless of clusters, or chemo. You were taking care of your daughter as well. You were taking care of HSG, and your angel store in your "free" time. You've been battling pain, nausea etc for over a year. You've recently remarried, bought a house, packed, raged about the new house, etc etc. For most people, just buying a house and moving in is enough stress. But you had to do that, plus take care of Johnny, go through chemo, visit doctor upon doctor. Hello!!!! Does any of this ring a bell? And you wonder why you're tired? Hello!!!! Wake up girl!
So you had a private pity party....that's fine...we've all been there. You are loved and revered here. Don't you ever forget it. There is no shame in needing and receiving. You don't always have to be the one to give, you are allowed to take!! So take, cause people are happy to give. Me included!
Love you E!!
Great big fat hug and kisses from Canada
Ann
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Ted
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Re: I am really Tired!
« Reply #24 on: Dec 1st, 2002, 8:06am » |
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How many times do I have to tell these newbies to do a little searching before they post? Elaine, click on your profile and then on that button that lets you read "ALL" of your posts over this past year. Then come back here and try and tell us you have not helped anyone over the past year. At least read old chats. There's also another site dealing with all types of headaches. It's called Headache Support Group (or HSG, not to be confused with MSG, the well known food additive). Ask some people who might know just who started that site and did so for others. Man, I hate it when people don't research.
You just remined me. I have to get a cell phone with an "eternal plan" so when you're up in heaven and I'm sitting in front of the cozy fireplace of eternal damnation, we can still be in touch. You can tell me about your harp lessons and HOPEFULLY I will have no flute lessons to report on.
You also wrote "you guys know me I am a bitch when I can't do what I need to do." Buddy wrote "I think I will just crawl in bed with you and kiss you." So, did you do what you need to do? Feeling better?
Love and prayers, Elaine.
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| « Last Edit: Dec 1st, 2002, 8:18am by Ted » |
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