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Topic: Now I'm messed up (Read 230 times) |
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LTBullitt
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This is some head fuck the clusters have done on me this year. The cycle itself was worse than usual and I was dealing with it worse than I normally do as well.
I couldn't really tell anyone I knew or anyone here that for a week I was pain free and almost positive the cycle was over.
A few more days of precaution and it was time to try to put some of life back together, starting with shaking depression.
Then I get hit yesterday with a mild attack (never really had those in past years) then last night right back to the big boys.
I can't tell anyone this time they came back. Not people that know me.
Need to disapear, go into a cave and wait this out.
Anyone know an abandoned cabin, a cave, a hole I can hide in maybe indefinately?
This isn't chronic, it's not going that way.
This is fucked up but not chronic. I am NOT playing that game.
just feel hopeless and need to rant, no need to reply
nothing to reply to
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Jenny G
New Board Junior
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Posts: 56
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #1 on: Oct 14th, 2002, 4:04pm » |
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Well, I'm gonna reply anyway....
This has happened to me too and it really sucks, especially if you "count" on your cycle being 5 weeks or whatever it usually is.... Then what, do you start counting all over? Most of what gets me through it is knowing when it's gonna end.
I agree that trying to explain this "remission and revisit" to family and co-workers is impossible. Don't fret my friend, you know we ALL understand and we'll ALL listen to you.
...keep your chin up and thank God when they are over (hopefully soon)
Jenny
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"I think it's wrong that only one company manufactures the game Monopoly."
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Linda T
New Board Old Timer
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Posts: 440
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #2 on: Oct 14th, 2002, 4:53pm » |
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Dear Ltbullit: Been there and done that! My cycle started 11/01 and there were several times that I thought it was over and I would start to tell people and then I would get hit. My cycles typically were 3 to 4 months and when I past that mark things started going down hill alittle faster.
Don't despair. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that you can barely see it now but it is there. Keep the faith. This will end.
Wishing you PFDAN always, Linda T
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What a long, strange trip it's been!
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2late
New Board Hall of Famer
Ride Free..Pain Free
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Posts: 1190
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #3 on: Oct 14th, 2002, 6:19pm » |
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LT quit yer bitchin'  just kiddin' bro, vent away, sometimes the best med. ...........2late
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Jim R
New Board Hall of Famer
Always question authority....
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Posts: 603
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #4 on: Oct 14th, 2002, 6:58pm » |
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Yup, the beast threw me a curve this year too - I usually start my cycle in Sept. but this year it started in July - now I don't know if I'll still go until January, it will end earlier, or it will even go longer - DAMN - can't PLAN with these things!! Good luck
Jim R
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"Hammer of the Gods..." (pounding on my head...) and isn't Bowie great?!
Proud member of OUCH
Episodic Clusterhead since 1978
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paul_b
New Board Old Timer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
 
Posts: 371
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #5 on: Oct 14th, 2002, 6:59pm » |
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I am not telling anyone my cycle has ended because even though it is abating, I am not completely sure. It is frustrating; not only the pain, but the emotions that go with the begining, duration, and ending of a cycle. Hang in there.
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kim
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 7
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #6 on: Oct 15th, 2002, 11:06am » |
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No ch for 1 week, (yup ;D I know that feeling) ya start gettin your hopes up, don't wanna "jinx"....and then BUMMER the storm whips up again.
Hang in there. It will go away, it's just that you can't always depend on it being on a timer. 
Well wishes, Kim
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Mark C
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Onward through the fog.
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Posts: 2660
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #7 on: Oct 15th, 2002, 11:40am » |
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I aint sure there is THAT much of a difference between CCH and ECH, symantics.
Been there, done that, doing that...... hang in there LT.
Mark
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Click The Flag
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joepauley
New Board Newbie
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...
 
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Posts: 9
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #8 on: Oct 15th, 2002, 12:50pm » |
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Chin up LT! Don't let the beast win... he likes winning a bit too much.
If you need a getaway, come down to Pittsburgh The colors are getting really nice here for the fall, and I'll get an O2 tank to split with you.
Of course, I'll have to send the other half away... he has a tough enough time dealing with ONE clusterhead in the house, let alone two!
Seriously though, get better dammit!
Joe
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LTBullitt
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If that means a Pens game i'm in even with CHs
ah, someday
"There is a light at the end of the tunnel"
Linda, you DO realize that is a train right??????? 
What you all say is so true. If only a person had a time table. I think I could go through alot worse if only I knew the date the nazis marched backwards.
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joepauley
New Board Newbie
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...
Gender:
Posts: 9
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Re: Now I'm messed up
« Reply #10 on: Oct 15th, 2002, 1:45pm » |
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Pens game it is then! I haven't been to one in about 3 years, used to get free tickets all the time at my old job. Working in non-profit now, it's too rich for my blood!
PFNAD's buddy...
Joe
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