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Topic: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!) (Read 1144 times) |
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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"Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!)
« on: Oct 7th, 2002, 2:47am » |
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Some of you are already done with me, but here goes anyway. I WILL make this as neutral as I can, but I was born sarcastic so I can't promise the result will be what I intend.
31 hears old male. Episodic since spring -95, selfdiagnosed february -02. "Officially" summer -02.
Cycles have usually gone 1 month "back", I'm expecting a visit from my Friend in november/december.
IQ (officially) just as good as the next Joe's.
I'm fairly new on the inter/usenet, been online for 5 years now. Some reasons for my venting:
I used to frequent a newsgroup a few years ago. It was one of the friendliest around. Went away for a year, and after coming back almost none of the old people were still there. There was a new guy. He was mean. He didn't just flip people off, he wrote insulting haiku's about them! His tongue was so sharp that even the older members of the community feared it, and so they joined him in his bashing of stupid people. I watched the show for a while, and since the cause wasn't important to me I left. Came back after a year and everything was "normal" again.
Back to ch.com.
When I first came here, I learned a great deal aboud ch. I usually read new people's experiences. But I haven't really "been here" in the last month or two. Some of the reasons is that there hadn't been much new people, and I don't know you guys well enough to enjoy the friendly "bantering" that seemed to happen a lot at that time. Still does. Nothing wrong with that, it just wasn't "my thing". Now I "come back", read this new guys introduction and see him "misbehave" and be told to f off. So I acted hastily.
While those reasons above are somewhat good (imo), the main reason probably is that I enjoy a good fight just as well (and probably more) than the next guy..
I was the bully of the class from 1st to 6th class, changed schools and become the nerd and punch-bag for 7th to 9th. After that, the situation become normal.
So I can understand both sides. But I don't agree with both.
I don't think anyone here is mean because he enjoys it or on purpose, like the guy in my little story. I think it comes from "being older" and having the need to retaliate to an attack. "Defending ones home". That need is probably automatic, not thought out. You've seen the Spider-Man? "With great power comes great responsibility."
I can relate to not comprehending the effect of ones words has on other people. I have ADHD myself, and it makes social contacts harder. People have to know you pretty well before they know when you are serious or not, and can be forgiving to (not intented) slights. I'm not defending myself here, but I think that kind of thing is pretty common. You f somebody off, big deal. But the receiver of it might not think so.
And (imo) this shouldn't be anybodys home in a sense that you can run it the way it pleases you. The rules must be the same for all.
So I apologize for yesterday's flame thread. I'm sorry if my comments hurt anybodys feelings. I'm sorry for "acting out of place". Especially since I seem to be the only one to somewhat enjoy it.
However, I still stand behind my 2 first posts, even if I migh make them "softer" now, knowing their effect.
I have no patience for "easing my way gently" into new community, I want things done fast. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
So things can go several ways (you can think of more):
1. I get banned/removed for misbehaving or breaking the rules. You won't lose much (in your opinion), and neither will I (imo, again).
2. I won't get banned/removed and somebody explains to me (on logical/moral/ethical grounds) why my points are wrong and I'll learn from my mistakes and mellow my attitude somewhat. I would be the wiser, and your lives would be "disrupted" less.
3. I won't get banned/removed and nobody explaines to me (in terms that I can understand) just why my points were not valid. In that case I might continue "acting up", or get bored and stay quiet for a while. And be back with a vengeance someday..
I CAN be reasonable. I usually am.
Insulting me, my character or nick wont do me much. Insulting my arguments will have the same effect.
Saying that I'm of no use because I'm a new poster or not a member of OUCH don't do me much, since I disagree with that logic until somebody can efficiently prove it right.
Explaining (in terms that I understand) why I was wrong can and will have an effect.
I don't take "myself" seriously, but I take my logic/observations seriously because they come from what "I am", and are the sum of my experiences so far. Of course they can and will be coloured by my mood at the time I say/write them, and for that I'm sorry.
So. I'll stay here if not removed. You are free to ignore me, insult me, agree with me, whatever. Agreeing with me will be accepted  , insulting me or my ramblings wont change anything if not "explained". (sorry, can't remember the right word)
Your choice. Lives will continue in any case.
I most likely forgot something important, but I always do. And this most likely isn't as neutral as I originally intented, but some of you probably can see what I mean. And this rant is long enough as it is. Have a good morning/day/evening/night.
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #1 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 3:01am » |
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this should be in the end of the first post, but it was too long..
I wouldn't go through the effort of trying to explain myself unless I saw a reason for it. The reason for this is that I respect (most of  ) you and think things can still be remedied. If not, I was wrong but it took only an hour or so to try. Definitely worth a try.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 3:23am » |
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You gotta understand something about all of us...
You insult ONE of us...........you insult ALL of us.
That being said, I would have to say, you got some class. IMHO you are welcome here. LindaH
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BobG
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #3 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 3:31am » |
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Nice touch Linda.
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #4 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 4:06am » |
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IMHO you are welcome here.
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Thank you.
I think I've figured out this system now. This is how I see this system works. The grumpies do their stuff publicly, but there's some softies to mellow things out with private messages. Even I got one of those yesterday.
(no offense. I'ts definitely not planned to work that way, but things just tend to happen. We are often victims of our circumstances and all kinds of biological/chemical stuff. And this is only my view of things..)
I can adapt to this now that I understand it. Its not perfect (nothing is), but it seems to work.
I'll volunteer to be a softy in the beginning, on the condition that when I decide to get grumpy, there will be somebody to "translate" for me in private!
And while this observation (and my suggestion) can be somewhat amusing, I'm still (fairly) serious.
Edit: I didn't mean to be insulting, at least as much as I meant to bring my point into consideration. The situation (allready a heated discussion) was not the best and my attitude was definitely bad. And nobody likes to hear they are "in the wrong". Certainly I don't.
I can understand "group-behavior", even if I refuse to play by "rules" that I feel are not good.
I guess what I'm saying (can you say long-winded) that I understand the reception I got and am not offended or anything. I don't take "progammed" responses personally.
My social skills are a "bit" poor (mainly because of impatience), and that makes constructive communication sometimes impossible, but I still like to think that there is some sense hiding underneath all the clutter in my posts. I just make it HARD to find 
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| « Last Edit: Oct 7th, 2002, 4:42am by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi » |
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NancyMcFree
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 4:26am » |
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Welcome aboard Lapsi. Lots of good people, and lots of great info/support.
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Charlie
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 5:10am » |
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You're welcome here if you know the horror of CH, either personally, or in a supportive roll. Though it doesn't always show, we like ideas, even if they're nuts, so long as you aren’t selling crystals or some such crank or crackpot "remedy."
If you've been lurking here, you no doubt know that many of us "serial" posters had a rocky beginning. It's usually in response to an iffy intro. By the way, you'll find most of the "loudest" guard dogs will give people second chances. It's the quiet ones like Linda, you gotta watch out for 
Man, that was a long re-intro. You've been on line 5 years? Egad! Only 2 for me. We used to get goofier intros on the old board. Here, everyone's intro and responses seem more deliberate and concentrated; even yours.
You know what? I've forgotten what you said about CH the first time. Gotta begin again with me as I'm too lazy to go back.
Welcome to the mad house.
Charlie
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #7 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 6:39am » |
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Welcome to the mad house.
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Thanks. Its really good that I introduced myself now and not in 2 months when I'd be in cycle. I would not have been this nice then.
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don
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #8 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 7:36am » |
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Quote:In that case I might continue "acting up", or get bored and stay quiet for a while. And be back with a vengeance someday..
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That attitude will get you no where.
Quote:I would be the wiser, and your lives would be "disrupted" less.
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You won't be disrupting my life one way or the other. You don't have that power.
Quote:| Saying that I'm of no use because I'm a new poster or not a member of OUCH |
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No one said that.
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Many here have co-occurring disorders but ask no special treatment or considerations
And those are my humble explanations as to why you were flamed
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #9 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 7:53am » |
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That attitude will get you no where.
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I know. I wasn't making threats, just saying what might happen. Explanation:
I consider myself fairly intelligent. If I repeatedly fail to make my point understood, I must (for my own sake) come to the conclusion that the fault is not mine. Hence, the others are too "stupid", or just refuse to understand. In that situation I would probably say something stupid myself and give up.
I hope you understand that I don't mean to insult anybody. I'm trying to explain how I might "work".
So it wasn't a childish threat, I really think I could behave that way and that I would probably like it way less than you.
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You won't be disrupting my life one way or the other. You don't have that power.
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That's ok.
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That's how I interpreted it. *I* think I'm not very far off the mark in this, but I've been wrong before.
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Many here have co-occurring disorders but ask no special treatment or considerations
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I explained myself poorly. By "I'm not defending myself" I meant that I was not using it as an excuse. I was trying to "prove" that I can understand some of the reasons why people don't always understand the consequences of their actions/words. It wasn't intented to show ME in a better light, it was intended to show "other people in better light in my eyes". I hope you can understand from those incoherent sentences what I'm trying to say.
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And those are my humble explanations as to why you were flamed
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Good enough. I'm content with the private mail I got, at least one person understood my "points".
I'm a weird writer. I guess I leave more room for interpretations than most people. You can read my text with the intention to find faults and you will find lots, or with the intention to be charitable and find something "good". Up to you.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 7th, 2002, 8:14am by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi » |
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curtisdsc
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #10 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 9:32am » |
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Hey Lapsi, No need to explain who you think you are. Just be who you are. No explanation needed. Everybody can't like everybody, it would be to damn boring.
Email me we have something in coming.
Welcome aboard if that is what you want.
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 10:05am » |
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Hey Lapsi, No need to explain who you think you are. Just be who you are. No explanation needed. Everybody can't like everybody, it would be to damn boring.
Email me we have something in coming.
Welcome aboard if that is what you want. |
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Yeah. I get carried away and overdo things (explaining again )
I've always just HATED being misunderstood. Hate me for what I am, not for what you think I am!
Doesn't make much sense..
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don
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 11:47am » |
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Quote:Hate me for what I am, not for what you think I am!
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Thayt actually makes a lot of sense. I give to you my favorite quote of all times;
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
Herbert Spencer
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #13 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 1:17pm » |
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I don't know if it was that quote that gave me this idea, but here goes, another reason for the hate of being misunderstood:
People have plenty of real reasons to hate me, I don't need the extra burden of "imaginary" ones!
Someday I might have to stop analyzing everything to death.
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #14 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 1:36pm » |
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I have been trying to find a neat picture that symbolizes my character and behavior accurately enough.
This is so close it gives me the chills.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 7th, 2002, 1:39pm by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi » |
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Charlie
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 5:21pm » |
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I don't think I follow all this. Not a problem though, I'll catch up. My advice is to not respond to every post, every time.
It's time to talk about CH and your experiences. It's safer. Information and some fun are what we do here.
I you didn't already do so, tell us where you're from. Otherwise, you gotta explain that monicker of yours. It's different. ???
Charlie 
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| « Last Edit: Oct 7th, 2002, 5:24pm by Charlie » |
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Ted
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #16 on: Oct 7th, 2002, 10:12pm » |
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He's a bunny rabbit, Charlie. Jesus. Follow the thread, will ya?
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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e: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #17 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 1:23am » |
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My advice is to not respond to every post, every time.
It's time to talk about CH and your experiences. It's safer. Information and some fun are what we do here.
Charlie |
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Information:
Ok. 31 years old, male, got a wife and 3 kids, ages 7 months (boy), 1 year and 4 months (girl), and 3 years 10 months (girl). From Finland.
Edit: I guess the picture I chose is fitting in a broader sense than I originally had thought.
My cluster history started as far as I know in the spring -95. (I had had some BAD headaches when I was a kid, but surprisingly nobody found anything wrong with me.)
In 95 I was quite confused about this weird headache. It started so suddenly and came so often that I used to "joke" about it to my mom, I said it must be a tumor. Well, the tough guy that I am, I never went to a doctor.
Talked to some of my friends about it, and one of them told me that it probaly is allergies (because of the runny/studdy nostril and my eyes watering), allergies can start whey you are an adult. So that was enough for me for a couple of years. The cycles started to move a month or so "back" every year, and I started to think it can't be allergies when they started in January. Went to a doctor and he said it was migraines. The migraine-medicine worked just as "well" as the other stuff, my headaches usually lasted from 40 minutes to 2 hours.. I gave the credit to the medicine for those "short" durations.
I was happy with that. Last year my cycle started in December. During an attack my wife decided to investigate things over the internet, and right away surfed to a finnish site that had cluster-info. All the symptoms matched. I was excited, I no longer felt like a painkiller addict!
Went to a neuro with my "diagnosis", he basically told me (without listening to my symptoms) that "CH is so rare, we get only 2 cases in a year, that can't be it". Wrote a description for some stuff though, haven't bothered getting it yet. Went to a second neuro (for a different reason), she couldn't help me with that other stuff, but she knew about CH! Great! So now (the freak that I am) I actually LOOK FOR this next cycle to begin, so I can "keep book" and maybe even experiment with some drugs that can actually help. And get it "officially" diagnosed.. I can show up at the doctors office with a dilated(?) pupil, runny left nostril etc and bang my head against her desk! (I can just see her face:  )
So that's my "history" and the informative side.
The "some fun" part (at least for me ) is found on the good old flame thread. Don't go in there if you can't mentally stick some smileys into my posts. They most certainly belong there.
Edit: forgot the specs.
Cycles every 11 months. last for 2 months. start with an attack every 2 days (kip 6+), peak to 2 attacks/day, kip 8 - 10. most common time 9 am, second most common 3 am. rest are fairly random. Strong otc painkillers (in big doses) dull everything including the pain down a kip. haven't tried anythint else yet. everything is left-sided. "classic" symptoms.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 8th, 2002, 4:15am by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi » |
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #18 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 7:14am » |
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Justifications. Again. To possibly deflect some of the (inevitable?) flames.
I'm posting this now since my prime surfing time (= office hours) is almost over for today, just when yours begin. I'll be back (with Arnold's accent) in maybe 7 or so hours.
Here goes: (my point of view)
I came here, flamed, was flamed back, calmed down somewhat, explained my situation, apologized some. Put a message in the original flamethread that my "justifications" were found in another thread, but that I would continue this if "needed".
When Slammy & Slammette (can't risk checking her real name with this connection) entered the fray, I thought they did it "on purpose", which is to say, they had read my earlier justifications and weren't too serious. So I gave them what I thought they wanted. And after coming back this morning, when it was apparent that some (=all) people were taking it pretty seriously, I continued the old way. That was not nice, but I couldn't resist it.
I will "take the blame" for that happening, since I started it by "accepting Slammy's challenge".
However, I will not take the responsibility (prideful sucker that I am) for others (willfully or not, but especially willfully) not reading/comprehending the admittedly very cryptic "instructions", since at least 1 (neutral) person understood what was going on and was ok with it.
(of course this can all be traced back to me, since it was I that made these people hostile to me in the first place, but I tried to "fix" some of that, so in my mind some of the hostility is somewhat "set", nothing I do in the future will change/lessen it.)
In my eyes the whole thing after my original stop is a misunderstanding (which wouldn't have happened without my 98 cents).
Feel free to agree/disagree with me. Or even ignore.
And if you feel I'm trying to sound Preachy, High and Mighty, Better Than You etc etc instead of trying to "see things more clearly" or saying how I see things, so be it. Maybe I really think that way. I don't think so, but it's possible. Could be that I'm fighting the "newbie, nothing he says matters" -stigma so hard that I overdo it, instead of being "equal", I try to be "better". If anyone of you is a shrink, please diagnose me. 
Better I shut up now. Feel free to post "I agree"-messages. ???
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| « Last Edit: Oct 8th, 2002, 7:30am by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi » |
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Rafe
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #19 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 7:27am » |
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What's scary is aside from the actual clusters (im a supporter), you frighteningly remind me of myself
Rafe
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NancyMcFree
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #20 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 7:30am » |
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Hey, wabbit, let's just get back to the business of helping people. The rest will fall in to place.
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jonny
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #21 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 2:50pm » |
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Hauskaa Joulua ;D
.....................jonny
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Lapsi_Harmaahapsi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #22 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 3:36pm » |
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Hauskaa Joulua ;D
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Thanks!
I've invited the Beast over for the holidays so I'm not sure how much I will enjoy it. Though I've been so good this year that maybe "he" will bring a surprise with him.
Like the plaque.
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jonny
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #23 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 3:45pm » |
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VAARA VAROKAA KOIDA ;D
..................jonny
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| « Last Edit: Oct 8th, 2002, 4:08pm by jonny » |
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Margi
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Re: "Introduction", explanations, apologies (LONG!
« Reply #24 on: Oct 8th, 2002, 3:47pm » |
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WTF? now they're speaking Clingon. I hate when that happens.
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