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Topic: It's been since Oct 2000 (Read 967 times) |
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Tamara
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Well It has been 2 years....But my luck has finally worn out. I haven;t been here for 2 years now and honestly I never wanted to return. I know you all must see people like me come and go so much. I am far too tired to even explain my clusters tonight. I am episodic, guess u could have figured that out. I just had a new baby she is 1 month old on Sunday. And wonder if this time my hormones have kicked the beast into waking up.Who know why or when. But he is back and this time I am not going to take his crap.
Hugs all talk soon I hope
Tamara
P.S.
Sorry for the grumpy post.
I am also ina new relationship...I am divorced since my last visit and my new b/f has no idea what he is in for, and honestly not much help in the middle of the night when I am banging my head on the wall..or floor ..or whatever I can get my hands on. 
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Charlie
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #1 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 5:34am » |
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WB Tamara:
Sorry this damn thing is taking up your time and getting in the way of what should be a happy experience. In any case, we're here for you so keep in touch.
You made me think...I didn't realize until now that September makes it two years since my first post to this bunch of whiners.  It's been a slice.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Melissa
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #2 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 8:45am » |
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Quote:| I didn't realize until now that September makes it two years since my first post |
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Ditto Charlie ;D Was exactly 2 years for me on Sept.9th.
Tamara, sorry the beast has returned  I am waiting for my cycle to begin, but it's just not happening for some reason  Not that I'm complaining mind you ;D
Take care,
 Mel
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2late
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #3 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 9:06am » |
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sorry to hear the beast is back babies are enough to keep you busy without having to deal with this. hopefully it's just a temporary setback. good luck to ya!! ..........2late
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NancyMcFree
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #4 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 9:15am » |
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Welcome back Tamara. Gosh, a new baby and clusters ..... you will not be getting much sleep. Hopefully the beast will only pay you a short visit.
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oringkid
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #5 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 11:34am » |
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Hey Tamara, sorry they beast is back, but you are welcome here!
I have a question for you, are you breastfeeding? Just wondering if you recently stopped if you were? My main reason for this question was the hormone thing. Once you stop breastfeeding, hormones change some, going back to "normal" levels.
Unfortunately, I can't remember when I first started getting hit again after I had my daughter. Too busy to pay attention. I am pretty sure that I did not get hit while pregnant and for a while after the baby was born.
I wonder if those of us women who get hit tend to have higher testosterone levels than others.
Just trying to define some of the pieces to this puzzle...
Sherry
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catlind
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #6 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 11:38am » |
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Hmm interesting. I had Ayden in July 2000, and stopped breastfeeding at the beginning of Sept. My CH's started up like never before in Nov 2000. I know hormones werre thought to be a part of it because my pituitary gland is squashed. Maybe there is a link there somewhere
Cat
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don
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #7 on: Sep 21st, 2002, 1:07pm » |
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Sorry you had a relapse but I'm also sorry for all the people who could have used your pain free support since October 2000.
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Tamara
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #8 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 12:19am » |
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Hi Don.
Sorry I did not stay around while my cluster have been gone. I know I should be here to support also..and not just to take. But unfortunetly the last 2 years have been tramatic and I think everyone was better off without me. Divorce...a Huge move...26 hrs away...i live now away from everyone I know. New hubby...pregnancy and then a new baby and new job...Og my someone shoot me..hugs to you thanks for the reply
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Flounder
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #9 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 2:07am » |
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Don,
I'm sorry but I'm sick of this you could of been helping crap. We all go through times when we can't be dealing with anything but our own lives.
Tamara,
Hang in there. Get some O2 and love the little one. It gets easier. Kids are the coolest things in life. Keep talking to us.
Mitch
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Ueli
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #10 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 7:54am » |
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Hey Mitch,
We have a saying: The dog barks if you step on his tail.
This board could not live and would not contain the wealth of information it does, if all people would use it like you do it, Mitch.
Flash and Pinky and a lot of others have gathered a huge amount of info about the shrooms. Mitch did profit from their research, but did not feel it necessary to give something back by reporting on his results. Instead we only hear from him when he has some questions.
Mitch,
I'm sorry but I'm sick of people who only want to profit from the message board, but when they finally come out of lurking already in their 3rd post make a "contribution" on how the board should be run in their opinion.
Shut up Mitch, we don't need your crap.
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LTBullitt
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #11 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 8:43am » |
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Sorry Tamara.
I know we have never met but I know how you feel. As soon as a cycle breaks I just want to run and I tend to forget I ever had CHs. For me it seems like a curse to even talk about them when I'm in remission.
I can remember signing up here about a year ago (maybe, I have touble remembering dates these days) but I quickly ran away. I couldn't deal with talking about it then and cannot to this day remember what my username was or if I even posted.
Congrats on the new baby. At least you have something cute to wake up to as well.
I don't really understand the breast feeding deal but I do know a woman who is chronic and has never had a headache at any time while she was pregnant.
I always wonder if she will just decide to become chronically pregnant.
good luck kid with everything
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don
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #12 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 8:57am » |
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Well Mitch I can see why you'd be sick of it. Altough I'm not sure how after 4 posts. Thanks for your terrific advice.
Quote:
But dont expect the Mitch's of the world to respond.
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Opus
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #13 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 10:57am » |
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Tamara, Sorry to have you back, Don't feel bad about avoiding this site when pain free, I have noticed alot of members do. It must be great not to have to spend time on a web site just to get through each day. I know when I am pain free I will have a lot of catching up to do. I know a cronic who has become PF and they are having a hard time finding time to read the posts.
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There is no place like home.
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jonny
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #14 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 11:21am » |
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Hey Mitch!!
Back under the rock, no one needs you or your "Help?"
Seeing that you have not contributed to this board what makes you think you can tell anyone anything?
Im chronic and have problems in my life but that dont stop me from trying my best to help people here......you?
Thought so!!!!!
..........................jonny
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Ted
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #15 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 11:46am » |
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Mitch, one thing I've noticed here is that most chronics here rarely post asking for help and support, but are here to offer it instead. That's usually more a feature of episodics, probably stemming from the fact they have to re-acquaint themselves to the torture in a very real sense after a period of being painfree, and not just from memory. Point being, other than a very few chronics most of us are here helping AND dealing with our own lives. Sorry to hear you live a life where you are "sick of this you could of been helping crap." That's a pretty selfish, compassionateless and ego-centric life. I think I'd rather have chronic CHs.
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Tamara
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #16 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 12:11pm » |
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Thanks again to everyone for the warm welcome. Call me scared call me a coward. But I honestly couldn't be in here.It was my longest remission and I honestly didn't ever want to return. I thought I had found some miracle cure and would never see the day again. I use to post all the time for support.And even for a long time I was on the list Elaine made for the suicide help. Then my life fell apart and still is in turmoil. I thought coming here would help me. But instead I started a huge fight. I also had to re join as after each cycle I get dumber and dumber. I can't seem to remember much these days. Maybe it is from all the head banging and not the clusters. But today I am over the edge. I can't handle anything anymore. I appologize again. I hope and wish you all to be pain free. If you read this Doug Wright..I will continue to email you and keep in touch. You were a life saver for me when I needed someone and no matter where I go I will always think of your strength. You know ..... I never sent in my membership..But my constant reminder was the bumper sticker that Jonny mailed me back then. I have 3 kids and absolutely no help..no friends. Then on top of that I live with the guilt of what my kids see...It must scare them to death.
Take care all.
Once again I am sorry for whinning.
You are all in my prayers
Tamara
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Ted
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #17 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 12:23pm » |
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Naaahhhh. Stick around Tamara. read the posts once again. Many of them were offering you support. the problem wasn't with you leaving and coming back, but rather about Mitch's attitude here. It wasn't you that started any fight here.
Welcome back and keep posting. Hope your cycle doesn't last too long.
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Flounder
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #18 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 12:37pm » |
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Wow all~~your response is almost as brutal as a Kip 10 at 4am.
FYI--I am not a new poster, I used to practically live on the old board, and yes I took a break for almost a year and have sympathy for those who found themselves in similar situations--life got to be too much to be able to commit anything to the board.
I just don't see how it is constructive to attack people for leaving and coming back.
About a year ago I learned things from people on the board that were very helpful. Flash and Pinky led me in the right direction. And at that time I was very active in helping others who were interested in alternative treatments.
I have been gone, but not symptom free. The things I learned on the board helped me to get through my episodes, and since my life has calmed down some, I thought I'd try to contribute to the board again.
If you all want to hack on me~~try this on for size. I left the board when my two year old son was diagnosed with degenerative myoclonus--we were told that his motor functions etc... would quickly deteriorate and that he would be dead in a few short years.
It became necessary for my wife and I go to myoclonus boards to find support and answers for our son, while doing research and seeking out specialists. We finally got to the best pediatric epilepologist in Texas and his new diagnosis is much more promising~~no degeneration and w/ medication his seizures are under control.
I know that a lot of folks just use the board and leave--but there are also those of us who could not have it any other way.
I just think it would be nice if folks on this board showed some compassion, instead of just attacking first and asking questions later. It's the old--I've got a hammer so that must be a nail situation~~things aren't always the way you imagine them.
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Ted
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #19 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 12:54pm » |
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Sorry to hear you're dealing with all that, Mitch. Sounds like you did right with prioritizing your son. I think the responses came from the tone and wording of your post. To me, at least, it sounded like you were defending the attitude and people who only come to get help but turn their backs on people when they're needed.
Good to hear you found a good doctor for your boy. Hope everything works out.
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dougW
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #20 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 1:14pm » |
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Tamara: Thanks for the kind words, glad I could help, and know that I always will, as will everyone here. Strength, hell, you've got lots. You had to to live in Coombs
You mention no help.... ...just ask!
You mention no friends... just look around!
Never feel guilt for what your kids see from your clusters, just love them all the more when you can. Their love for you is un-conditional, we'll all get through this.
You should have my number, call anytime if you need.
Best wishes
Doug
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Out beyond wrong doing and right doing there is a field of luminous consciousness. I'll meet you there. (Rumi)
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frankzappa
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #21 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 2:32pm » |
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Wow I am new to the group, I to have had a 2 year break from the devil. Cluster run started labor day and every day since. I have had 6 clusters in the last 13 hours and I am dying here. I found this SITE and glad I have. I feel your pain sister. Congrats on the new baby. I am a father of 5 kids... I hate it when they see me suffer...
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Bill Man (tired of the cluster headaches)
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Ree
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #22 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 7:45pm » |
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Hi Tamara sorry to see you back but glad you came back and welcome... Mitch kiss that sweet baby I dont think any one was flaming you just wondering where youve been because you did come off abrupt with only 5 posts... enough said... Sorry you have to go through what you have to go through, I will pray for your little boy as well as you... Tamara, Dave(my husband) went into cycle when my daughter was just a month old too... you really need some support so you have to reach deep into your address book and find some resourses... Call your family and friends and ask them for help... or get a mothers helper... I find the cheapest are usually 12 - 13 year olds (before boyfriends) and they can usually be found by calling school, the recreation dept or your local church... I also was suffering with pneumonia at the same time and was wondering what kind of cloud I was sitting under... I survived, Dave survived ,and that baby is 8 now... Good Luck... love to you. I will be thinking of you at 2 am (feeding the baby)focus on the baby and maybe the beast will let up on you... ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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Flounder
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #23 on: Sep 22nd, 2002, 10:20pm » |
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Tamara,
None of that was your fault.
Sorry I screwed up your thread.
Mitch
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Tamara
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Re: It's been since Oct 2000
« Reply #24 on: Sep 23rd, 2002, 12:36am » |
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Hi again.
I am feeling a lot better than my earlier post. This has just not been a great weekend...Fighting with the fear of going to sleep. Which in turn makes me kinda crazy. which to begin with I am completly nuts anyways. I want to thank you all for your kind words. Mitch I understand the pain of a sick child. It is the most awful feeling. I just spent the first 2 weeks of my little girls life in the neonatal intensive care...Scared to come in every morning not knowing how the night went. If anything out off all of this I have learned to be here for your friends. Not take anything for granted. I am here now and will make my home. UNless someone evicts me...lmao. Now all I have to do is figure out how to put pictures and stuff in here. I would love for you all to meet my family...via pics ect. I am also looking for a husband who maybe can talk to my new hubby..this is his first time dealing with anything like this. He does not understand this at all. He just thinks I have gone nuts..and that I was dropped on my head one too many times as a baby.
Oh i also have some questions regarding hormones. Male hormones.
But that will take me a whole other post.
P.S. I am breastfeeding...but I think I am going to have to quit as last time I didn't take meds just because of my middle girl.And I don't think I can survive that again.
My last cycle lasted 8 weeks... and I honestly know what a KIP 10 is....and i don't wish that on my worst enemy.
I have a whole wack of questions...on so many topics.
Hugs to you all.
smooches for pain free days and nights. 
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