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Topic: Okay need someone to tell me... (Read 933 times) |
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catlind
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Okay need someone to tell me...
« on: Sep 1st, 2002, 3:19pm » |
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to quit whining, STFU and pick myself up and get on with life.
I don't know why, (stress maybe) but I'm having a real hard time these last 2 days, the headaches haven't been too bad, but a couple of them made 8's. Mostly dealing with shadows now, so hopefully my cycle will be over soon. (seems to me it was july-oct. though 2 years ago).
I'm so damn depressed I can't stop crying. I'm feeling sorry for myself, sitting here realizing that I'll spend another xmas alone, that I don't have my best friend to lean on when things are going rough, I'm basically completely indulging in a pity party for myself and I hate it, but for whatever reason, I can't talk myself out of it. Maybe because I'm still transitioning to Clark's absence, maybe it's because I have a headache, kip 4, and can't go to my room for O2 without the dog attacking one of my kids or my kids attacking one another. I really hate feeling sorry for myself, so jonny get out the BBB's and give me a good kick in the ass. Someone, anyone out there, please help me change my state.
This is always a dangerous state of mind for me when I get a headache, it's too easy to stop thinking of everyone and everything else good in the world when you are busy feeling sorry for yourself and what you are missing and the pain you are in etc. I guess I'm afraid (that control thing again) if this headache gets anyworse, I'm in the perfect state of mind that would put me on that edge of panic, and I think I might just fall over the edge with my current state of mind.
Okay, I've cried my river, now someone please gimme a swift kick in the ass and tell me to get over it.
Cat
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A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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Night_Owl
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #1 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:08pm » |
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"I'll change my highways in a while,
at the crossroads, one more mile.
My path is lit by my own fire.
I'm going only where I desire."
- The Book Of Counted Sorrows
Cat,
Your life is your own. If you don't like something, change it. The headaches aren't changable, I know, but if you don't like how things are going, do something to make them go a different way. Don't waste your time worrying about things you can't change. The sun still rises and sets regaurdless of who is watching.
Night_Owl
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"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."
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Riccardo
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #2 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:16pm » |
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hmmmm I give not you a kick in the ass, but a kiss on the cheek! 
Sorry but a kiss on the ass is a little weird (and could denote an intimacy we have not...)and a kick on the cheek can really hurt.....  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Seriously, catlind, Night owl is absolutely right.
At least, you can get a little "vacancy". Forget for a while all what is happening around you (sometimes is enough to close a door) and....relax....
Kisses again....ciao
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Riccardo OUCH-Italia
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catlind
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #3 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:18pm » |
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Night_Owl,
You're too young to be that wise.
Cat
p.s. the 2 main things in my life that suck are CH's and my husband being deployed by the military, unfortunately, Donald Rumsfeld denied my request to leave my hubby at home  hehe
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A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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Night_Owl
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #4 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:19pm » |
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My dad is in the military. I know how that is. He has missed my birthdays and christmas. It sucks. But I always love to fill him in when he gets back.
Night_Owl
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"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."
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jonny
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #5 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:21pm » |
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Me thinks the Owl fools us and is alot older.
JMHO
.................jonny
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Night_Owl
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #6 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:25pm » |
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I wish I was older. I am going to be 16 on the 29th.
Night_Owl
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"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."
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Riccardo
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #7 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 4:31pm » |
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Don't wish yourself this!
Years walk slowly during youth, run after 30, and go faster than light after 40.....
And (despite I am a serial kisser) be cautious with Jonny boy..... he's dangerous for the girls, especially if under .....90 (but the risk increase logarithmically with the younger age) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Riccardo OUCH-Italia
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Opus
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #8 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 6:56pm » |
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" I'm so damn depressed I can't stop crying. I'm feeling sorry for myself, sitting here realizing that I'll spend another xmas alone, "
Cat, Don't ever forget that No one is alone."
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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HypnoticFreddy
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #9 on: Sep 1st, 2002, 9:35pm » |
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If you are depressed and are crying, etc. Then ask your doctor about anti-depressant medication. You may have depression.
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Charlie
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #10 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 5:21am » |
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Keep showing up here with your problems. It can't hurt and there are some bright people here who do a fair job as empaths.
By the way, a little depression is okay. However, little is the operative word. Vent away, kid and enjoy that family of yours 
From mine to yours:
Charlie
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Jim R
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #11 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 8:00am » |
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Cat,
Sorry you're going through such a rough time. Although this is coming from someone who is borderline depressed himself and is shadowing at the moment, there might be something you can use... Do a project in your PF time for you and Clark, such as:
wallpaper or paint your bedroom (involve the kids...)
plan a vacation for you and Clark)
refinish a piece of favorite furniture
take up a craft or hobbby in his absence
train the dog obedience (involve the kids!)
there are hundreds of others that would make you proud to show Clark when he returns, make the time pass faster for you, and give you a sense of accomplshment.
Hang in the Cat. I know what you're going through. I'm getting hit day and night and I feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone. Wishing you PFDAN's. Jim R
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"Hammer of the Gods..." (pounding on my head...) and isn't Bowie great?!
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NancyMcFree
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #12 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 10:46am » |
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Ok, here is your swift kick .... You are talented ... young ... a mother of three. You've got auctions to run (and congrats so far on the money you raised with the clock ... nice job !!!!), you have kids who need you ..... (who else would they go crying to with hubby away ?)... you have a dog to train (lmao .... been there !!!), and you have a life to live.
Honestly Cat .... just try counting your blessing every morning ..... count your kids sleeping peacfully in bed and you can start with three blessings automatically every day ... the rest is just icing on the cake.
Hope you feel better soon.
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jonny
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #13 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 10:54am » |
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YEAH!!!!!!.....What Nancy said just in a deeper voice!
................jonny
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catlind
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #14 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 12:55pm » |
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Thanks so much everyone. I seem to be doing somewhat better today, although still a bit down.
Having so many good friends on this board does and will continue to make a huge difference in my life.
*hugs* to all
Cat
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A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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kim
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #15 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 2:58pm » |
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Hugs right back atcha Cat. hang tight lady. Know what it is to miss the pardner when kids (and puppies and kitties, et al) are doin that thang they do  When you are already down for the count it sucks girlie, I KNOW!
Glad you are doing better today. From one mom of three kiddies, and having several other furry lil (and BIG) ones, GOOD GRIEF!!!! It can get ya down, I know. When the headaches come knocking and no one is there to pick up the slack, feels UNBEARABLE.
Sending you good vibrations. Yur doin just fine!
LOL Cat, I had a toddler and 2 HUGE ROTTY puppies. Daddy was gone and well, you had to be there, but I can honestly tell ya, them puppies ate half the house b4 they were one year old! my toddler giggled and hiccupped in delight as I was trying to spackle the 3 foot hole in me kitchen wall.
HANG IN! 
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Linda T
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #16 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 6:36pm » |
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Dear Cat, not too long ago I was sitting just about where are you now. I threw myself a hell of a good pity party! I know it's damn tough to talk yourself out of it.
Then I read a post from a damn good "old timer" that said "get over yourself". GET OVER YOURSELF! I couldn't believe that I read that. If he had been in my face I would have bitch slapped him! But, the more I thought about that phrase, the more I knew he was right. It's damn hard but you have to change your perspective on alot of things.
I think about alot of people out there, clusterheads and others, who have it so much worse that I ever did. After all, I'm not on my death bed, I have no terminal illness, I'm otherwise (relatively) healthy, I have a 5 year old son who is my whole world. I have family and friends who never gave up on me. Looking at it this way, you realize you just don't have it that bad.
This cluster cycle will pass. I know it can't happen soon enough for you, but it will. In the meantime, I hope you find a way to manage the pain. Hang in there. Keep coming to the board, vent, cry, release, whatever you need to do. This board got me through. It will for you too.
Wishing you all PFDAN always, Linda T
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What a long, strange trip it's been!
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jonny
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #17 on: Sep 2nd, 2002, 7:29pm » |
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Very nice, Linda
........................jonny
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oringkid
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #18 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 9:20am » |
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When I get down, I lose myself in a good book. Course, since you have young kids, you might not be able to do that. But if you are a reader, I recommend anything written by Pat Conroy. Or Stephen King. Or Dean Koontz.
The last two are horror writers but Pat Conroy writes about life. His words paint the most vivid and beautiful pictures of some of the worst parts of life.
Anyway, if you don't get into or have time for reading, anything that you have to give total attention to that is enjoyable helps.
Try keeping a journal for Clark. Something that you can record the funny things, the cool things whatever! so that when he returns, you can both sit down and read it and he will not have missed so much at home. And your writing it will help you feel his presence. Also, writing down your feelings helps to keep them from building up and pinning you down.
Also, you can rent funny movies and watch em with the kids!
Just some of the things I have used. Hope they help you.
Sherry
Riccardo, LMBBBO!!! (big bouncy butt)lol I thought I was gonna hit the floor!!
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echo
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #19 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 9:36am » |
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Yea - what jonny said in a balder voice.
Hang in there cat. We are here to support. Can't kick you in the keester, couldn't do that to my sis. I'll give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on and pull strengh from however. Take lyour kids on a walk around the block looking for insects, birds and animals. Makes for a slow walk and a great time to open those communication lines. They may have questions they want to ask so they can understand what you are going through and how to support you.
Later cat -- Echo
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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Slammy
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #20 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 11:38am » |
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on Sep 1st, 2002, 4:21pm, jonny wrote:Me thinks the Owl fools us and is alot older.
JMHO
.................jonny |
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You know, Jonny... I've been thinking the same thing well before this last post.. If she is really 16.... I dunno, maybe I'll hang around until shes 18?? LMAO!! ;D
oh, and btw.. Cat? QUIT WHINING!!
Pick yer ass off the ground and do something besides posting in here whining about things that you can't control! We've all been there! P.S. did ya forward a copy of this post to Oprah? ;D
Seriously, you got way too much going on to feel sorry for yourself.. STFU!!! ;D
Slammy 
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Ree
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #21 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 12:22pm » |
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Cat I wish we lived closer so I could take those kids off your hands and let you have some time to get better. You are not on a pity party... Time passes so quick and before you know it Clark will be back... I just said good bye to my Marine son for another few months... saying good bye is never easy... I think about the times to come... thinking about you Love Ree
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #22 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 2:19pm » |
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Slammy,
If I was still in So. Calif. I'd hitch-hike to Oxnard and slap you up side of the head right now. Nite-owl? Pay no attention to him.
Cat.......Here's my advice to you.
Sit down on the floor and have that pity party. Cry, sob, moan and groan. Then pick yerself up, wash your face with cold water, and do everything everybody told you to do. Linda Howell
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Slammy
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #23 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 2:24pm » |
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on Sep 3rd, 2002, 2:19pm, Linda_Howell wrote:Slammy,
If I was still in So. Calif. I'd hitch-hike to Oxnard and slap you up side of the head right now
Linda Howell |
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Promise Linda?
It's not nice to tease a Slammy
Slammy
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That's it! Everyone out of the pool!
" Everytime I try to get out, they PULL me back in! "
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Okay need someone to tell me...
« Reply #24 on: Sep 3rd, 2002, 5:20pm » |
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score one for Slammy.....For now that is.
Linda ;D
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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