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Topic: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed (Read 623 times) |
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LauraL
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Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« on: Aug 30th, 2002, 7:58am » |
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Hi I don't really know what i expect from this post, maybe just to talk to people who understand what it's like to battle with the deamon.
I am in a fairly new relationship (5 mnths living together), but my boyfriend is 8 yrs yournger than me (him 23, me 31). I feared telling him about the chs and tried with all my might to do it little at a time when we're both in a relaxed mode. Well, guess what, they came back! All along I think I prayed that he wouldn't have to see me experience them.
He is thoroughly supportive and patient.
Problem is I can't sleep, it's driving me crazy! I am also sooo stressed, because at all times I am fearing next attack. Then my cycle is so different from how it used to be. In past i had minimal shadows, while now it's omnipresent. Also, these moods! I feel I'm going to crack! I am so irritable, depressed, tired, impatient, a right royal bithch! And everytime I say i'm sorry, and he says it's okay, but it's not okay!.
Those who doesn't know, taking maxalt (triptan) and panafcort (cortisone) & oxygen. First few attacks, it worked like a charm, first real bad one last friday, took maxalt, and within 15 min painfree, next few, used oxygen as soon as feel tiniest tug, and it worked. then came Wednesday - had three attacks in one day. Worst was at 3am. Given with the fact that I couldn't sleep, onl fell asleep at 2, woke up with allmighty ch at 3, took maxalt & oxygen, finally I think from exhaustion fell asleep at 4:20, with devil lighly dancing (think fork was blunt by then).
And since then it's been down hill. Maxalt is very, very expensive. So is sleeping pills. I am then tearfull, then angry, then irritible, and so it just goes on and on and on.
Each trip to Dr. is $$$$$$$. She gave me sleeping tablets with I told her doesn't work, with histamine which "could have a drowsing effect" when histamine also is not something i need. So, yeah, I AM SO DESPERATE for sleep!!! And i just want to be happy, and spoil my man, instead of the wicked witch!
L
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NancyMcFree
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #1 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 8:08am » |
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It doesn't sound like your meds are working for you. Have you tried Imitrex ... it works for me. It is expensive but ... if it does the trick it's worth it. Also there is a tip on how to split the dosage (there's a tab on the left labeled Imitrex tip). I use the Imitrex and oxygen and they are life savers.
Don't be so hard on yourself ....... I'm sure your boyfriend understands you are in pain.... and all things do pass. Take advantage of the times you are feeling good to spoil him.
In the meantime, smile ...... you aren't alone. There are tons of supporters here for you.
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Riccardo
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #2 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 8:25am » |
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Laura, I'm sorry for the Demon return.
On the boyfriend side, if he loves you (and seems to be) he can have problem in managing the relationship with you during the attacks, in other words, "how can I help you?" When you define this, all is OK.
Sleep.... ahhhh sleep.... is the thing I needed more in cycle.... I know, it's hard. Try to take naps during the day, anytime... (if these naps don't trigger another, new one, attack)
On the meds side, I agree with Nancy. Imitrex is better (the injections... at least the nasal spray, if the first one scares you)
And Verapamil? (it has to be surely cheaper than other CH preventative meds, and is very effective)
On the .... heart side...... all my love to you, and fight. Fight to be painfree, fight for your beloved one, fight for your life. LIFE IS GOOD ANYWAY, DESPITE THE CLUSTERS
Italian kisses
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| « Last Edit: Aug 30th, 2002, 8:26am by Riccardo » |
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Riccardo OUCH-Italia
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echo
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #3 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 10:46am » |
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Sorry to read that the beast is attempting yet another invasion to your happiness. Sounds like you found a keeper if the boy friend is understanding and compassionate about what you are living through.
Sleep is such a double edged sword -- you need it badly but if you sleep to soundly and hit REM the animal wakes up and dances on your eyeball.
Hang in there - you will win the fight.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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don
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #4 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 11:04am » |
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try dramamine
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oringkid
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #5 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 11:40am » |
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If you try the Dramamine, make sure it is the original formula. Not the less drowsy. The less drowsy is Meclizine, don't get that one.
Get the one with dimenhydrinate. That one makes you sleepy.
For those of you needing sleep that take amytriptiline (elavil) the combo of dramamine and amytriptiline will make you REALLY sleepy. NEVER take before driving.
Sherry
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Slammy
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #6 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 11:57am » |
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Sherry,
I want the one that makes me "happy" ! ;D
Slammy 
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #7 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 12:11pm » |
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Laura,
I have a suggestion. Print out your post to the board & show it to him. If he's as supoprtive and patient as you say he is, he will be touched that you care so much and worry about things like this. He needs to know that your H.A.'s and the subsequent depression, fear and sleepnessness are NOT your fault.
I'll be praying for this episode to end soon.
Linda Howell
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Drk^Angel
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #8 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 12:42pm » |
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Sorry to hear that the beast is ridin' ya so hard. I agree with the others that ya may want to look into other meds to help control the clusters. It's a very good thing to have a good supporter. Don't take advantage of it, but don't beat yourself up over it either. Good luck!
PFDAN............................. Drk^Angel
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Jayne
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #9 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 12:46pm » |
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I have one word for you
VERAPAMIL
it is the drug of choice for the majority of us..it is fairly inexpensive and keeps a lot of us pain free.
THIS WILL HELP YOU
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Charlie
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #10 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 10:31pm » |
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We've all been there with you. Depressed is okay up to point.
I was living with Sally when mine hit way back the the 60s. She was so nuts about me that she stuck around...  She was a bright woman 
I bet you'll be fine if you print out some info from the board. Here is a link that I think is good to explain this horror:
http://www.ouch-uk.org/ch/note_colleagues.cfm
Stick around and let us know how you're doing
Charlie
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HypnoticFreddy
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #11 on: Aug 30th, 2002, 10:59pm » |
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Sounds like you may be sufferring from clinical depression. When I had my bout, I was victim of early morning awakenings. Thats when you wake up at 3:00 AM and can't for the life of you fall back asleep. I was put on all sorts of powerful sleeping meds, like Restoril, Ambien, Sonata, and Xanax. Guess what, if you are CLINICALLY depressed, then these things dont work well, at least for me. I was way out there. I lost 30 lbs, no sleep, no eating well and I couldnt even poop. I drank a large glass of prune juice and still couldnt go. I was one messed up dude. I was put on a massive dose of Zoloft (you begin on low doses and then gradually increase). This is a good SSRI anti-depressant which is sedating. It can take a while to kick in (2-6 wks), but once it does, sleep will return. During my depression I left my job, I left my girlfriend, and I left life. I almost took my life. Being a chemist I certainly had the means and access to various ways of suicide.
Depression can come in many forms. Mine was compounded with massive anxiety/OCD. About the only thing I wasnt experiencing was hearing voices, etc.
For some reason, during this horrendous 3 months, I never had a CH. Last month my CHs returned after a 3 yr hiatus. While I feel well, fit, and mentally healthy, once again, I am sufferring attacks.
I have been on Verapamil for 3 yrs. When I was first put on it, it seemed to work. Or was it just the cycle ending? Who knows. The CHs have come back, and I saw a Nuero who increased my Verapamil dosage. He also prescribed oxygen. My shrink prescribed Imitrex nasal spray. Not much is working for me. It is depressing, but I am not Depressed in a clinical sense. I feel a shadow looming as I type.
Be proactive and talk to your doctor and perhaps go on an anti-depressant. Only about 50 million Americans are on them, so there is no shame.
Just some advice.
-Freddy
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KingOfPain
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #12 on: Aug 31st, 2002, 3:18am » |
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Get yourself (& Bo) all the info you can & things will seem much clearer & easier once you are armed with the tools to fight the beast.
Hope this helps, KOP. : - { )
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We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
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Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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kelly_dawn
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Re: Please help me, I am thoroughly depressed
« Reply #13 on: Aug 31st, 2002, 7:18am » |
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sounds like you are having a rough time, you are lucky i have no supporter only a cold wet towel and my phone, you are lucky i agree with drk angel dont take advantage and dont turn him away, he doesnt know what its like for you he will feel really helpless and useless all he can do is sit by and watch, he can do very little for you and that makes him powerless. but he is doing what he knows best, being with u and letting you know he is there and for this i know i would be so grateful its hard to believe, sleepless ness what a bitch and i hate the dreading of sleep, but one thing i am good at is not worrying to much about the important stuff and worrying myself sick over trivia, i hope u get some sleep soon, this should be a clusterheadaches and insomniacs support group!! i hope things get better and keep going
take care
kelly_dawn
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Go placidly, amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence..... Desiderata
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