Author |
Topic: National Lampoon Headlines (Read 459 times) |
|
Ted
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender: 
Posts: 1
|
 |
National Lampoon Headlines
« on: Aug 26th, 2002, 10:22pm » |
 Quote  Modify
|
Farmer's Almanac predicts "snowy winter;" past predictions have included "rainy spring," and "hot summer"
GFI recalls 717,000 pounds of ground beef; employees wary about upcoming Labor Day cook-out
Rare white-colored black bear declared off limits to hunters; sportsmen urged to hunt Michael Jackson instead
Ohio mom facing misdemeanor charges for allowing her 3 children to become severely sunburned; will discover pain of going without lotion while in prison
Anthrax suspect Hatfill files complaint against attorney-general's handling of his case; clerk assigned to handle paperwork reportedly "less than thrilled"
Bronze Age had sophisticated knowledge of drugs; "But the inability to master rudimentary pizza delivery technology doomed it to failure," states archaeologist
"Puppetry of the Penis" show opens in Los Angeles; "I've been performing that show in my bathroom everyday for the past 20 years," states unimpressed Angeleno
Utah Polygamist Tom Green could be sentenced jail for life; prospective cellmate looks forward to getting his 5th wife
Police catch Florida doctor planning to blow up mosques; "now if they could just catch the guys in mosques planning to blow up doctors, they'd be on to something," muses New Yorker
1 in 32 adults in the United States were incarcerated last year; "I had no idea there were that many CEOs in America," states sociologist
SUPER BONUS HEADLINE
Japanese scientists are attempting to clone a woolly mammoth as an attraction for a new Wildlife Park; so far only able to produce considerably less-impressive "woorry mammoth
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss