Author |
Topic: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to live? (Read 969 times) |
|
MyHeadHurts
Guest
|
 |
[u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to live?
« on: Aug 26th, 2002, 8:54pm » |
 Quote  Modify
 Remove
|
I've had ch's for 24 years now and they're so bad this year (almost 5-months consistant of solid 4-5 hour long episodes), I have to keep giving myself reasons to want to live another day. It's almost 10:00 (my witching hour) and I don't have long... I realize it sounds stupid, but hey! We all need to tell ourselves something.... Any suggestions would genuinely be appreciated.
Best of luck to you all
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
catlind
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Taz taught me the cluster dance
  
Gender: 
Posts: 3433
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #1 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 9:08pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I will post this many times I expect during my life here in clusterville. These words may be repeated, but they are heartfelt, from my soul for all who suffer this beast.
If you want to know what I give to others to help them hang around, these are the words and feelings and support I give to you:
"I give you my support for those times when you're a little unsure about continuing on the path you've chosen - even though it seemed to be the right one when you began.
I give you my belief in you and in your ability to accomplish anything you set out to do.
I give you my respect for the things you believe in, even if I don't agree with them
I give you my time for however long it takes to do the little things that make your life more comfortable
I give you my comfort for those occasions when circumstances put some unwanted factors in your life.
I give you my trust in you to always do the right thing for yourself.
I give you my forgiveness that allows you to be human, rather than expecting you to be perfect"
Now go outside, look up at the stars, look at a tree, find a moth, look for a grasshopper, remember a child's smile, remember sept 11 and the people who survived the attack, and the people who survived the loss of loved ones in the attack, embrace life, without pain, you surely would not know pleasure.
Cat
|
|
IP Logged |
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
|
|
|
Drk^Angel
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #2 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 9:10pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
I don't tell myself anything... All I have to do is look at my children while they're sleepin'...
PFDAN....................... Drk^Angel
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Elizabeth
Guest
|
I tell myself:
my uncle is fighting cancer, wanting to live....
my cousin's heart and liver are dying - she wants to live....
my sister's fetuses keep dying.... she wants them to live....
I want to visit Paris....
I want to fall in love....
I want to play the violin....
Too many things I want to do.... can't leave Earth yet!
Last fall I knew I couldn't handle it anymore.... yet this summer was my best ever! Life does get better.
Reach out....
Take someone's hand....
Ask for help.....
Keep fighting....
Tell yourself you WANT to live....
Remember the pain will end......
Liz
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
  
Gender: 
Posts: 14968
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #4 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 9:16pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Don't do it.
Suicide is the worst thing one can do to a family. I should know. We have had two over the years. Most of us will never get over them.
There is no more selfish act than taking one's own life other than incurable cancer or other horror. Each case is different but with CH, you aren't terminal and you can still find good times and things to live for.
Charlie
|
|
IP Logged |
There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
|
|
|
Drk^Angel
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #5 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 9:23pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
What I always did before i had kids was think about my family and friends, and everyone who would feel the pain of my loss. It always made me think that I would rather endure this pain I'd been saddled with, rather than inflict such pain on them.
PFDAN................... Drk^Angel
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Melissa
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #6 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 9:24pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
I think about how hurt, sad and lonely my 7 year old little girl would be feel without me here to take care of her, and love her.
I think about how the pain is not constant, that it will eventually stop.
I think about all the wonderful happy times I would miss when I'm not in pain.
I think about how much I love watching the first falling snow of winter, the first blade of grass in spring, the sound of my daughter laughing while she swings in summer, and the beautiful changing color of the leaves in autumn.
I think about how much my husband loves, supports, and cares for me, and how badly I'd be hurting him if I ever left.
I think about how disappointed my deceased mom would be, at me giving up on a life that I was so blessed with, while she ended up losing hers due to cancer at the age of 47.
I think about lots of things, and that is what keeps me going...
 Mel
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
NancyMcFree
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #7 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 10:07pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
When you are in pain its hard to find the one thing that will keep you going ...... hopefully God will help you find that one thing that touches your soul ... keeps you hanging on .... because without you the world will be a sadder place. Remember that, and reach ... reach for it !!!!!!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
MyHeadHurts
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #8 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 10:18pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
I am on a temporary repreive from ch#1 right now and I wanted to thank all of you for your responses. I did not mean to imply that I'm suicidal (I'm not) but sometimes in the throes of pain, I need to keep thinking of reasons to WANT to live and therefore continue suffering and that's why I asked what tell yourselves. Unfortunately, I typed my post too quickly just prior to getting my #1ch and didn't have enough time to modify.
Thank you again for your thoughts and the best to you all.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
NancyMcFree
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #9 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 10:27pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Glad to here you are ok. If you want to talk you can call me ... 717-957-4328. I have two lines so even if I am on the PC you can reach me. . Hope the rest of your night goes peacefully.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Night_Owl
New Board Newbie
over the stars
Gender:
Posts: 18
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #10 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 10:29pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I am 15 years old. I have had these for about a year. I have gone through my bouts of depression and hating the world. And that was before this hit me. I want to end it sometimes. But I never do. I have a good family, and good friends. The pain that I feel in my head is the pain that my parents and sister would feel in their heart. I would rather suffer alone than have my family and friends suffer because of my selfish decision. Trust me, the thought has passed my mind TOO many times. I love music. That is what I would miss most in this world. It is the only thing that makes sense to me. I wouldn't want to be without it. That is why I keep going everyday. I have people that care about me, and I have my music. Do you have any kids or family?
Night_Owl
|
|
IP Logged |
"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."
|
|
|
catlind
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Taz taught me the cluster dance
Gender:
Posts: 3433
|
|
Re: Blueberry Problem
« Reply #11 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 10:46pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Its a great recipe and it will be ready in an hour and 15 min. Tell yourself you can live through the pain so you can have some Blueberry Problem
Cat
|
|
IP Logged |
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
|
|
|
notseinfeld
New Board Hall of Famer
Enough is Enough. Vote Libertarian
Gender:
Posts: 648
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #12 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 11:23pm » |
Quote Modify
|
On a more pragmatic level there is indeed medical hope. I realize this sounds a bit silly to those of us who suffer every day without pause but hear me out.
There is something called a jumping jesus theory. Simply put it states that information doubles in half the time it did the prior beginning at about the Industrial Revolution. There is information upon information rising exponentially and at present it is literally about to topple over on itself. Advances of all kinds and particularly medical ones can accomplish in mere weeks what used to take years of information architecture and compounding to produce. It is in this, the nanotechnology, viral understanding, cellular structure, genome, microprocessing, etc etc that we have our best hope of ridding ourselves of this malicious malady. When the breakthroughs come, they come big.
Smart money says pain management and neuronal misfirings are near to seeing their end days. I don't believe there will be a cure for everything though I am certain that great advances even in this next year will result in a thinning of this website's users and many others. So when it comes to finding comfort and reasons to press on it is basically in 'educated hope' and likelihood where our solace as sufferers can be found.
BTW: I'm chronic with the one year mark achieved this very week. If I had to choose any time in history up to this date to be straddled with a disease of this ferocity, it would today.
nots
|
|
IP Logged |
-----------Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner. ---------------------
|
|
|
maria
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #13 on: Aug 26th, 2002, 11:27pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Hang in there, please,
There are a lot of other sufferers out there that are waiting for your support. They need you. Maria
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
kelly_dawn
New Board Newbie
what doesnt kill you makes you stronger
Gender:
Posts: 25
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #14 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 6:13am » |
Quote Modify
|
drk angel never a truer word said, i havent tried telling myself anything i just know that no matter how long and hard the headache it will end, it will that i do promise, keep yer head up and grit your teeth, everytime i have a ha i know think about all you suffering too and atleast i know some one else knows the pain, i am not alone and i think thats one of the greatest comforts of all.
kelly_dawn
|
|
IP Logged |
Go placidly, amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence..... Desiderata
|
|
|
Elaine
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #15 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 8:25am » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
That the pain will end.
Before I found the meds I needed I had clusters for as long as 4 hours and sometimes 10 minutes later they would return. as many as 6 in a 24 hour time frame. I can remember saying just let me die. when the pain ended I was glade to be here.
Just remember it will end.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
oringkid
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #16 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 11:09am » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
I watch "It's a Wonderful Life"
or play with a kitten or puppy.
Sherry
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
nancyc
New Board Old Timer
Friends don't let friends post drunk on mbs......
Gender:
Posts: 384
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #17 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 11:42am » |
Quote Modify
|
I tell myself that i have a beatiful grandson and a son that loves me...i have a mom who is always there for me..and some good friends that love me...and that Toby could not make it without me...i feed him icecream ;D...and i have my cluster family when i need to vent...and if that dont work, i will just hang till they figure out how to do a head transplant...cause i have a defective head...chronic chs, TMJ and now, ocular migraines LOL. ;Dnancyc
|
| « Last Edit: Aug 27th, 2002, 11:43am by nancyc » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Ted
New Board Newbie
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 1
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #18 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 11:59am » |
Quote Modify
|
MyHeadHurts,
"All the wonders you seek are within yourself."
~~ Sir Thomas Browne ~~
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
catlind
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Taz taught me the cluster dance
Gender:
Posts: 3433
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #19 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 12:03pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Aug 27th, 2002, 8:25am, Elaine wrote:That the pain will end.
Before I found the meds I needed I had clusters for as long as 4 hours and sometimes 10 minutes later they would return. as many as 6 in a 24 hour time frame. I can remember saying just let me die. when the pain ended I was glade to be here.
Just remember it will end. |
|
Elaine, I know those words were for MyHeadHurts, but I'm in one of those days today. Woke up and by 8:30 had a kip 3 that rocketed to a 7. Got a 20 min. reprieve and am no in my 12:30 cycle with a 6 and that is after an hour O2 at 15lpm. It's one of those days I really really wish hubby wasn't deployed  
Cat
|
|
IP Logged |
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
|
|
|
ultio
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #20 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 12:14pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
The dead know only one thing. It is better to be alive.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
gtar_man
New Board Junior
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 78
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #21 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 1:12pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I used to suffer from a certain type of repetetive viral infection; made my life miserable for 15 years. One day they came up with a med that sent it packing with no sideffects at all. We've gotta have faith that science will nail this MF, too.
We're all in this together. If one of us goes, it might influence another. Don't let the dam break! Spit in the lousy bastard's eye and say "YOU WON'T TAKE ANY OF US!!!!!!
|
|
IP Logged |
I'm not a damn newbie! I just changed ISP's!
|
|
|
BobG
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 5747
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #22 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 1:55pm » |
Quote Modify
|
My answer to your question is here
http://pahlow.net/ch/clusterheads.htm
second row down and 5 to the right.
And I can't check out now because here's just to much Chunky Monkey that needs my attention.
|
|
IP Logged |
Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
|
|
|
MyHeadHurts
Guest
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #23 on: Aug 27th, 2002, 5:49pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Once again, I would like to thank all of you for your responses to my post. I've never been a part of any support group because I've always just found solace in my friends (cheap psychiatrists that they are) and, later on in my family (my wonderful husband of 8 years and my 8-year old daughter).  I believe, as notseinfeld does that science will ultimately discover some sort of answer, but sometimes it just seems too distant. (Yes, it's always darkest before dawn.) I know the pain will end. Someday.
Thank you all again for your posts. It is genuinely appreciated.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
KingOfPain
New Board Hall of Famer
Disgusted!
Gender:
Posts: 1552
|
|
Re: [u][/u]What do you tell yourself to want to li
« Reply #24 on: Aug 28th, 2002, 11:20pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I just think of all those worse off than I & then I get some perspective, not an easy thing to do when I am screaming in the ER, but I try. The beast has a way of skewing our view, screw the beast! Life IS worth living, even if it is difficult....it has it's rewards.
Hope this helps...you & anyone else that may read it.
PF to you & all of those that suffer with this terrible plight.
KOP : - { )
|
|
IP Logged |
Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss