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Topic: Where is everyone? (Read 890 times) |
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Georgia
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Where is everyone?
« on: Feb 16th, 2002, 4:06am » |
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Just because it is 5am does not mean that the whole world should be asleep, but it sure feels that way right now. I almost actually slept tonight, I had that lovely sleepy feeling...that same feeling that acts like a wake up call to the beast. Oh what fun we clusterheads can have in the middle of the night, blah blah blah...
Sleep is so fucking elusive.....why can't I sleep? I have lots of time to ponder this question, and have come to the conclusion that maybe subconsciously I am afraid to sleep..afraid I will only end up waking in agony, afraid that I am giving him the upperhand, showing my belly, putting down my shield..and why should I do that?? because I need sleep desperately..because my brain has stopped working...because I am hallucinating...because I miss sleep so much...because I miss dreams..because I am arguing with myself in a public forum...
Am I the only one who feels like this? Am I abnormal even amongst clusterheads? Is there anyone who can help me sleep?? My doctor said she wants to send me for a sleep study...being the horrid and difficult patient that I am, I asked how exactly they were going to study my sleep WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP?! She didn't answer me.
I have tried everything that I know of...long baths, meditation, OTC sleep aids, melatonin, kava kava, valerian root, Ambien, horse tranquilizers, hops, chamomile, reading, playing really boring games online, talking to really boring people, relaxation fountains, sound machines, working 18 hours a day, alcohol and lots of it, singing myself to sleep, a combination of all of the above....NOTHING WORKS!!! I need sleep and I need help and I need advice...please ...WAKE UP YOU NORMAL PEOPLE AND HELP ME!! See what I mean about the brain not working anymore?
dream a little dream for me........
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Ted
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Where is everyone?
« Reply #1 on: Feb 16th, 2002, 10:21am » |
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Well, the only way I differ when I'm afraid to go to sleep is that it's not a subconcious fear but a very concious one. I found something that might help you sleep though. If this doesn't work, do a search for more information on it. Just reading about the topic should help very much:
Belly Button Lint - the Hole Story
(MSNBC)
The results of our ground-breaking, online belly button lint survey are in...
The take-home answer..
You're more likely to have Belly button Lint (BBL) if you're male, older, hairy, and have an innie.
More specifically...
+ You get more BBL as you get older
+ More men have BBL than women
+ Lint colour reflects your skin tone - lint is lighter for light skinned people.
+ Skin type does not affect BBL.
+ BBL appears to be related to hairiness.
+ Too much belly hair, or too little belly hair somehow inhibits the movement of BBL into the belly button.
+ There is no relationship between BBL and a person's overall build.
+ Anecdotal evidence suggests that navel rings dramatically reduce BBL or even remove it altogether.
+ It seems as though the Snail Trail has something to do with BBL levels.
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David_M
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Well, I was going to begin with a flip answer and say listen to Barry Manilow records--though that's more probable to induce hives, than sleep.
But I do have a thought: since you've tried everything to get to sleep, and its having the opposite effect, why not try to stay awake? Keep moving as much as possible, listen to loud music, put some dance music in that sound machine and keep moving...
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KingOfPain
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Disgusted!
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Re: Where is everyone?
« Reply #3 on: Feb 17th, 2002, 9:25am » |
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No, you are not alone or abnormal. I go through the same thing. As for the sleep study, I had one done & they had to medicate me so I could sleep long enough for the study. Thank God the beast stayed away for the test. By the way, an article I found at the ACHE website noted that a high number of CH people have unknown sleep apnea. That is why a sleep study was done on me. Here is the web address for that article http://www.achenet.org/news/article.php?article=072000-2 Hope this helps. PFD's & N's to you.
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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Cin
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Hello Georgia,
Everything you are saying I also have felt, but for the last 3 days I've been able to sleep, no pain in the night. I feel like am getting back to normal. During the day I get like these pains, but doesn't go into a headache. I hope I'am done with this.
I also have stayed up all night, or when its time for bed I hate the thought, I used to look forward for relaxation, at night not anymore. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, but I know its from not enough rest.
I just wanted to give you some support, and thanks for the nice post to me the other night.
Take care!!!
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murphysmom
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Hey, I'm supposed to get a sleep study done on thursday night, all I can hope for is 4 or 5 hours of sleep that they can "study". I feel you....sleep is a wonderful memory now, I yearn for those days when I "overslept" . The longest I've slept since 11/01 is about 5 hours. And by the bye, you're not a horrible and difficult patient, you're a human being that has been pushed to the very brink of insanity and then jerked back in the nick of time; over and over, and you never know if the next time you won't get jerked back you'll just stay there in that hell forever. Or maybe that's just me. murphysmom[flash=200,200]URL[/flash] 
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Georgia
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If ya don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree.
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Re: Where is everyone?
« Reply #6 on: Feb 18th, 2002, 12:48am » |
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Where to start?! Thank you all for you helpful replies that made me feel not quite so insane and your advice, even you Ted. I read the whole belly button lint thing and I am still awake, even though I listened to some Barry Manilow while reading it. 
David....that is basically what I do all the time. Like last night for example, I went out to a club, danced, drank, had great fun...and still never felt sleepy during or after. I am working as a waitress at the moment and spend about 16 hours a day on my feet, moving non-stop, listening to crazy techno music, blagh, blagh, and that doesn't seem to help either.
KOP....did they find anything during your sleep study? If the would medicate me to the point of being able to sleep...I might sign up for a sleep study once a week. I don't think that I have sleep apnea as my problem is not staying alseep nor has anyone ever told me that I stop breathing, or snore. But it something to consider...thank you for the link.
Cin.....thank you for your support. You have no idea how comforting it is for me just to know that I am not the only one who faces this. And I am so glad that you are sleeping again, jealous, but happy for you nonetheless. I hope it continues.
Murphysmom.....Please let me know how the sleep study goes. And you are so very right about being at the brink of insanity. Sleep deprivation used to be used as a means of torture...now it is my life, on top of the beast. I don't know how much longer I can deal without sleep....all I know is that I am incredibly grateful to everyone here who keeps pulling me back over that edge.
I wish you all deep, beautiful, dark, curved, warm sleep. (and I wish a little for myself too) 
Peace and love,
Georgia
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Jackie_L.
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[color=Blue][/color]  Sorry to say Georgia no sleep is the story of my life also.. LOL... Either that or I will go through periods of extreem exhaustion and all I do is sleep and sleep and sleep and never seem to catch up and these sleep all the time will last about 2 months and goes in cycles (Don't know why)..and I really don't know which is worse...I can literally go 4-5 days with 2-3hours of sleep and I have tried everything...including the herbal remedies, long baths, reading, watching tv, laying the counting sheep and even all the RX's for sleeping pills, anti depressants you name it I have done it...and still Jackie is wide awake... Doc's have told me that I should not worry about it and sleep will come when I get tired enough ...  Yeah right!!! Doesn't happen...only when sheer exhaustion kicks in does that happen... Their has to be some sort of happy medium here !!!
I do know that as a little kid my mom took me to the doc and said this kid won't sleep ...she sleeps 1-2 hours and wakes and is running around (I still do that it is like I power napped or something and I wake up wide awake)...so something I have fought with all my life...add ch and other pain to it and it is a REAL MESS!! the doc back then (I was later told) gave me a "little green pill" that was a sedative...more for my mom's sake and sanity than mine...(so she could get some sleep LOL) 
I did the sleep study stuff also...I was told I slept..what a crock of crap I KNOW I didn't cuz I laid their playing with the bed, the lamp, day dreaming into the darkness, futzed with the blankets etc...and about the time I was ready to sleep the study was over...but during my "so called sleep periods" the found out that I did have 8 apnea episodes...but the doc said that wasn't bad enough for them to do anything about...My only question ??? or something that I have wondered about is that night that I did the study I was told NOT to take any of my medications...well at home I have been told by other's that at times I will breath funny (sounding) and then stop etc...and that is when I take my medicines (not everytime these go in streaks) so i wonder if taking my medicine would have made a difference with the test?!?! The doc then wanted me to repeat the thing...and I said No ...just didn't want to have to pay for the thing twice and didn't want to chance having another night like the first one where I was up all night again...LOL...
But Nope I don't think that you are unusual...I think anybody with Pain or CH would have trouble sleeping (just my opinion). For whatever that is worth... ;D
But Georgia if you do find something that works...PLEASE tell me... I know how much this sucks...and I know what you are going through... So try and lay at least and maybe you will eventually fall asleep ..and when I am done here I am gonna try and do the same... cuz it is after 3am again my time...
Love you Talk to you soon... Jackie L.
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Jackie_L.
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P.S. Hey Ted...I have always wondered WHY every guy I have dated or known always had blue belly button fuzzies ??? And the strange part was it didn't matter what color clothes they wore...ROFLMAO So glad to see that you posted that...LOL... It made for a good late night laugh...sorry I am not making fun of it really ...I just always found that so comical... Got to have something to ponder on our "up all nights with no sleep" and this is one of those little "why does this happen" things to ponder ??? and can make time pass really fast when you can't sleep.... ...ROFLMAO!!!! Huggs Jackie L.
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Fenton
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Georgia, since i have had my verapamil dose increased i have been having fewer attacks...but i can tell you this I STILL DONT SLEEP very good maybe 4 hrs at a time...scared?...maybe...but i dont know...God i wish i could help..
just a hug for ya ma'am (((((((((HUG))))))))
Fent
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David_M
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Hey Georgia,
Are ya hanging in there?
David
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Georgia
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If ya don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree.
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Re: Where is everyone?
« Reply #11 on: Feb 19th, 2002, 11:46pm » |
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Thanks for the hug, Fenton. Hugs are always appreciated.
And yes, Dave, I am hanging in there. Tonight I have gone from the everything is outrageously funny stage to the everyday is so long and boring stage. I had the day off from work today and there are only so many things a girl can find to do to keep herself occupied 24 hours a day. Not sleeping has this weird effect on everything...its like the volume of life has been turned down...like everything is very, very far away...even though I am awake, I feel like I am in that stage between sleep and wake....nothing is real yet everything is perceived, never really awake and never really sleeping. Anyway...I am sure that is much more info than you wanted, sorry. Thanks for asking about me.
peace and love,
georgia
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la la lala la la.....(its the theme song from the smurfs in case you couldn't tell) Need a smile? Click here: http://users.compaqnet.be/cn174277/Smurfs%20-%20Smurf%20Theme%20Song.mp3
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August
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I don't think i would recognize the workings of my mind in any other level b ut sleep deprivation......sort of like being between two worlds....the awake in the day and sleeping at night, but not really a part of either.
H ope your sleeping now Georgia.....a little late but here's another hug for you. (((((G)))))
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Georgia
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If ya don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree.
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Re: Where is everyone?
« Reply #13 on: Feb 20th, 2002, 3:13am » |
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Thank you so much, August. It is so great to hear from you. I have missed you terribly. No, I am not sleeping now although I should be. I am sorry that you understand where I am right now so well. I do so hope that everything in your life is as well as well can be. Please keep in touch.
Love ya girl,
Georgia
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la la lala la la.....(its the theme song from the smurfs in case you couldn't tell) Need a smile? Click here: http://users.compaqnet.be/cn174277/Smurfs%20-%20Smurf%20Theme%20Song.mp3
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David_M
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Hey Georgia,
Nope, its never too much or too much information. If you need an ear, or a hand, mine are always available.
Dave
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Georgia
New Board Hall of Famer
If ya don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree.
Gender:
Posts: 514
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Re: Where is everyone?
« Reply #15 on: Feb 20th, 2002, 3:57pm » |
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Thanks, Dave. When you want to switch minds for a little while, let me know. Mine doesn't work so well anymore but things are really..ummm...interesting in here.
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la la lala la la.....(its the theme song from the smurfs in case you couldn't tell) Need a smile? Click here: http://users.compaqnet.be/cn174277/Smurfs%20-%20Smurf%20Theme%20Song.mp3
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David_M
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that's an interesting idea, Georgia. Since I sometimes drive myself crazy, trading off minds would be pretty fun to watch.
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